1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. tassie devil

    tassie devil Registered User

    Aug 15, 2006
    15
    Hi guys, feeling very low today. Mum has been diagnosed for nearly a year now, but recently has started to seem to go downhill quite rapidly. She still manages to live on her own with her 2 dogs, but I noticed yesterday she has missed about 4 days of pills. My sister has just gone in and put the tablets out in a weekly pill case (much to Mum's dismay as we're all making her out to be mad), but she noticed there were still only 21 tablets left.

    I made a change for her last night and she came up to me for dinner and I cut her hair for her and gave her a little pamper session! She seemed to like it but the words that come out are so confused. She has also recently started making this little moaning noise, which you don't know if it's the sort of 'can you repeat yourself noise' or 'i haven't a clue what your saying but i'll agree anyway' noise!

    She's been through a few appointments lately, Dr's, dentist, optician and also had to have one of her cats put to sleep, that upset her for about 2 minutes then she seemed to forget!

    I'm just feeling so low with it at the moment, I really do miss my Mum as she was my best friend. Today just couldn't stop crying!!!

    I know there is no magic cure, and every situation is different but I know it's going to get worse - just how much worse and how soon? :(
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,719
    Kent
    Hi Tassie,

    I`m so sorry you are having to go through this. It`s so difficult coping. You are torn between sadness for yourself and sadness for your mother.

    I don`t know what medication your mother is on. My husband is on diabetic medication, and he has been pretending to take his tablets and throwing them away. The consultant said if he doesn`t take them it will make his confusion worse.

    Could this apply to your mother? Even if she is on totally different medication to my husband, it is prescribed for a reason, and if she doesn`t take it, it might make her worse.

    Just a thought.

    Take care xx
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I do feel for you as I know how you feel , Good cry does you good .

    She Just may be forgetting or getting confused with the medication , they come a point that someone will have to go around every day to give your mother her medication .

    Its hard at that stage , because she may not want to except any help, How would your mother react to any support from social services ?

    Or can you and your sister , go around every day to make sure she take medication ?
     
  4. Josh

    Josh Registered User

    Jun 24, 2007
    28
    Nottingham
    Hi Tassie,

    I know exactly how you’re feeling darling, it’s hard and frustrating at times.

    Went though the same problem in terms of medication, much like your self we sorted them out in to daily containers (breakfast. Lunch , Dinner, Bedtime) and My Gran would either forget to take them or take them all at once (other than her bed time ones which she always seamed to remember to take at bedtime, strange the little things that seam to stick in peoples minds)

    We used to go to her Bungalow every day to give her the pills at the correct time, even then there was some barriers to overcome, in terms of her not liking it one bit. This was prior to her moving in with us.

    Keep your chin up, and stay strong, I’ve only been around these forums for a few days but have already found it a great deal of strength. Sometimes I think it would be easier to look after a stranger with this illness than watch our loved ones go through this.

    Thinking about you all,

    Best wishes

    Josh
    - x -
     
  5. jeanierec

    jeanierec Registered User

    May 7, 2007
    121
    north yorkshire
    Hi Tassie

    I`ve had the same problems with my Mum.

    She had been using ( only occasionally ) the wrong eyedrops in the wrong quantities for at least 6 months ....she has Glaucoma so potentially she could go blind.

    I`m finding what works for us is that her medication ( she`s on Aricept and anti-depressents as well as the eyedrops ) are in a daily tablet tray but
    I ring her morning and night to get her to take them whilst I`m on the phone at first she thought she didn`t need to do this but as she never knows what day it is she soon settled down to this routine and for the moment at least its working for us .....and I think thats the point really you have to find what works best for you in your situation.

    I wish you well in this up hill struggle tht we`re all going through but rest assured you`ll get tons of support here at TP.

    Keep in touch

    Love
    Jeanie x
     
  6. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya
    The million dollar question - it would be so much easier if we knew the time scale - then we could plan out time - we would know how much suffering our loved one, and ourselves, had to endure. But there is no answer I am afraid.

    All that we can do is make the most of what we do have - be thankful for those days when something good happens, when we enjoy a few moments together, when we build happy memories - and just live through the bad bits.

    I miss my mum too - but its strange - no matter how poorly she is,there are times when I still feel comforted by being with her. There are times when I sit and tell her my worries, and I think 'am I wrong doing this, she may understand bits, she may pick up on my sadness?' but then I think 'no, she is my mum, and I know that no matter what pain it caused her, she would want to be there for me'.

    Hang in there Tassie - you will get through this.
    Love Helen
     

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