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How do I deal with the DVLA/Police regarding my Dad?

nmintueo

Registered User
Jun 28, 2011
847
UK
My Dad is the only one who can drive, and the rest of the family have no intention of learning.
Geesh! Not only selfish and dangerous (and unlawful if they falsify information on the DVLA form), but short-sighted: sooner or later your dad will be unable to drive at all, whether anyone informs DVLA or not. Then what will they do?



I rang the surgery goes to this morning and spoke to the receptionist. They won't do anything without my Dad's consent, and he won't give it.
Once he's diagnosed, that situation should change (if the doctor follows the ethical guidance from the GMC, which, unfortunately, many doctors don't and won't). Which brings us back to the problem of getting him to the doctor and getting a diagnosis ...
 

Oh Knickers

Registered User
Nov 19, 2016
500
Dvla

Hi GailM,

Sorry to hear you are still in a quandary. However, there are 3 major points here.

Firstly, your Dad is uncomfortable with the driving. Is it really fair to him that he is continuing to drive under these circumstances?

Secondly, how are you going to feel should your father have an accident and either injure someone else or be injured himself?

Finally, is your father has not had a recent eye test. Should he have an accident he is not covered by insurance.

Hope things go the way you are wishing at the GPs tomorrow. Nevertheless, it is time you did now contact the DVLA. You do not need to wait for a diagnosis of dementia. You already have enough evidence to stop the poor man driving.

Kind regards.
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I have been to my own doctors this morning. His advice was he couldn't do anything and I had to talk to my Dad and get the rest of the family on board! He also mentioned phoning 101. From previous posts you may remember I spoke to the receptionist at my Dad's surgery who said to get back to her if I had no joy at my Doctors. I phoned her and she tried to put me through to the office manager but was unsuccessful. She said either he or she would phone later today. It got to 5.30 and I phoned them. She says she emailed but he either hasn't seen or hasn't acted on it. She forgot to put on the email not to phone in the morning as my Dad and Uncle will be at my house. Thankfully she has now added that information! I phoned 101 but they will do anything unless there is an accident or they happen to see him driving dangerously. My friend spoke to 101 last week and they were willing to take his address and registration number, presumably to keep an eye on him. Today I've been told by 101 to contact the DVLA as it's not a police matter unless something happens. The DVLA can't do anything because even if they contacted his doctor, unless I can get his doctor on board, they won't know what's happening. I'm hoping his doctors surgery can help me tomorrow, but it's not looking good. My doctor said no one can do anything without my Dad's consent (which he won't give) Now what? x
 

Angie1996

Registered User
May 15, 2016
515
Somerset
That's a load of rubbish, my dad never consented to anything!! He lost his license when I kept ringing up his doctors practice manager and kept telling them I was really worried about his driving.... my Gp got my dad in, had a chat with him (nothing related to his Alzheimer's) and based on that conversation she reported him to DVLA. I am sorry that you are fighting so hard to resolve this as you should not have to...... you are trying to do the right thing here, surely the Gp should at least see your dad .... and try and assess him a bit at least? 2 doctors assessed my dad and he did not have a clue what was going on.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,997
South coast
So, the police wont do anything, his GP wont do anything, he is unlikely to give an honest report on the form he fills in - I dont think you have got any choice, you will have to bite the bullet and contact DVLA.
Sorry
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I can try the DVLA again. The problem is they won't take my word for it. They would contact my Dad's GP who knows nothing about the Dementia and probable Cataracts. I'm just going round in circles.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,997
South coast
Im sorry, I didnt realise that you had already contacted the DVLA. Im surprised that they say that they need the GPs report. I was under the impression that they could investigate themselves.
 

nmintueo

Registered User
Jun 28, 2011
847
UK
My doctor said no one can do anything without my Dad's consent (which he won't give)
That may be so if there's no diagnosis because your dad refuses to go to the doctor. You can't make him go to the doctor, and you can't force him to get a diagnosis.

But if there is a diagnosis of a notifiable condition, "no one can do anything" goes out the window, though plenty of doctors don't want to do anything anyway (see previous posts).

Older discussions turn up many and varied outcomes:

"My husband's GP contacted the DVLA even before diagnosis when he noticed that my husband was suffering confusion. The DVLA immediately wrote telling him to return his licence."
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?57597&p=756705&viewfull=1#post756705

"I contacted the GP and he declined to advise. I contacted the DVLA and all they did was write to Dad asking if there was a problem and did he feel he should stop driving. Of course the letter went in the bin."
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?3214&p=30508&viewfull=1#post30508

Here's a case with no diagnosis, yet contacting DVLA led (somehow) to a cancelled licence, and an agry parent:

"During this time mum was still driving and I contacted the DVLA because I was worried about her and her licence has been cancelled. Mum worked out that I had contacted the DVLA (I don't know how) although I consistently denied it and she grew very stroppy with me. She even contacted my brother (who lives 50 miles away) and got him on her side. At Christmas she embarrassed me dreadfully in front of my grown up children by accusing me of telling the DVLA about her."
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?91596

"I had contacted the DVLA, hoping to get a message from someone 'in authority' (i.e. NOT her children!) to say that she should stop driving, or at least take an assessment, which she would never have done. 6 weeks after waiting for a reply, the DVLA wrote to say they were writing to her GP, and the reply could take ANOTHER 6 weeks..."
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?86018&viewfull=1#post1168185

If you do contact the DVLA again, maybe better to do it using the online form specifically for that purpose, rather than by phone. Although if they have recently sent him a form anyway, maybe they won't see the point of sending him another, so who knows.
 
Last edited:

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,177
Yorkshire
hi GailM
probably not a helpful suggestion ....
might you borrow the car and discover it has a 'problem' which means it has to be off the road immediately and in to the garage; where it will be discovered that it needs a part that they'll have to send for ... and the request gets lost .... and then dealing with that problem uncovers another .... (find somewhere to hide the car)
your dad can't drive a car that he has no access to .... the nephew can get himself a bus pass (sounds as though he may be relieved not to be in the car with your dad), and the brother can sort himself someone else to direct, maybe a taxi ...
not sure what your dad's GP knows of his situation - might you write a detailed account of all your concerns, describing your dad's behaviour and send it to the GP so that it has to be noted - the GP might invite your dad for a well man appointment, a flu jab, an age related check up that everyone his age has as routine
best wishes
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I can't get the car away from them. My Cousin will continue to let my Dad take him to and from work for as long as he possibly can (even though he's admitted he doesn't feel safe). The reason being, and I quote, "it would be four hours travelling time a day otherwise"
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,997
South coast
I can't get the car away from them. My Cousin will continue to let my Dad take him to and from work for as long as he possibly can (even though he's admitted he doesn't feel safe). The reason being, and I quote, "it would be four hours travelling time a day otherwise"
:(:(:(
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
I can't get the car away from them. My Cousin will continue to let my Dad take him to and from work for as long as he possibly can (even though he's admitted he doesn't feel safe). The reason being, and I quote, "it would be four hours travelling time a day otherwise"
Lazy *£!?*%*!!!!!

So he'd rather risk his own, his father's, your Dad's and anybody else's lives for his own convenience?!

I presume he doesn't have a girlfriend? He's not likely to get one either if he can't drive. I'd never date a guy who didn't have transport. But then I like Alpha Males!

He sounds like a right wet lettuce and mummy's boy!

Sorry, I know that doesn't help. But maybe it made you smile :)
 

Azay28

Registered User
Nov 21, 2015
95
What an awful situation to find yourself in. It's amazing how selfish some family members can be. When we had concens about Mum's health we wrote to the doctor and outlined everything and requested that she be assessed. Although we didn't have the driving issue. I would write to his GP and lay it on even thicker than it is and ask them to arrange a check up for him. I'd title the letter "response required " so you hear back. Can you go to the appointment with him? Unfortunately you do have to tell some white lies to get your loved one to agree.
Good luck with everything. xx

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Talking Point mobile app
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I'm still waiting to hear back from the office manager. He now has two emails and a phone call in which I asked to be put through to him (he was in a meeting). That meeting should have finished now, so we will see...My cousin is 42 and has never had a girlfriend. Wet lettuce doesn't even cover it:)
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
I'm still waiting to hear back from the office manager. He now has two emails and a phone call in which I asked to be put through to him (he was in a meeting). That meeting should have finished now, so we will see...My cousin is 42 and has never had a girlfriend. Wet lettuce doesn't even cover it:)
Does he work in IT?
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I don't know exactly what he does. Something called Calculations. I know there aren't many in the company who are able to do them.
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I might be getting somewhere. I've phoned again and this time after trying to put me through to the Manager and failing, the receptionist has decided I need to speak to a doctor and one is phoning me back today....
 

GailM

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
34
I've spoken to a doctor at my Dad's surgery. Initially she said contact the DVLA which is pointless as his symptoms are not known by the doctors and the system would only show my concerns, not proof. Once I'd given a few examples regarding his driving, she was shocked and said she would arrange for a home visit unless I could get him to the doctors. I pleaded with her to get him there somehow without it looking odd and being traced back to me. She has agreed to get him in (if he'll go that is) for an Over 75 health check. This is what I was after from the beginning. If he doesn't attend then I've been advised to contact Social Services. I'm hoping he attends the appointment and then things can progress from there.