How do I cope

[JackiC]

Hi my 92 yr old mum hasn’t been officially diagnosed with dementia but hospital suspects it, I really have no idea what to do, I work full time and the only family member close by to help help her, she forgets things and gets confused easily, I am constantly on edge waiting for a call to help with things she could always do before, I phone her twice a day and visit once a day to check she is ok, I’m at my wits end, I’m exhausted and get no help, I feel so sad and angry

 

[marionq]

You must contact Social Services Elderly care and tell them the situation. Ask for a needs assessment for her immediately as the situation is serious. Don’t go soft. Insist she is at risk. If you make too
Much of your calls and visits they will string it out. She may well be nearing the stage of needing to be in care for her own safety.

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to TP, JackiC.
I'm not surprised you are exhausted and sad, that hits us all when caring. The uncertainty probably doesn't help, but should not make a difference to getting help from Social Services. As Marion says you are entitled to a care needs assessment for your mum. You should also ask for a carers assessment for yourself to get the support you need.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/needs-assessment and https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/carers-assessment will give you some information.

 

[Jezzer]

Hi @JackiC
I have to agree totally with @marionq and @nae sporran. Your Mum needs an urgent assessment and as her carer, you are entitled to one too. This is such a stressful time for you I know but, unfortunately, you may have to keep pushing at Social Services. It shouldn't be the case but the sad reality is you sometimes have to keep on at them. Don't be fobbed off. Stress your Mum is "vulnerable and at risk" .You are not exaggerating; simply telling the truth. Please keep us posted. Hang in there. Jan

 

[AliceA]

Help please, just want some advice and experience. There was a Memory Assessment October 2015, the new GP has recently asked for another assessment, I have received a copy letter via the GP refusing. It said it was a progression of illness so it comes under social care not medical.
When the GP said she would like another memory Assessment I did wonder whether there was much point.
We are content at home, I am finding the social side of being active difficult now walking is restricted and there are no public transport services. We use a volunteer car service for medical appointments but these are not allowed for non medical reasons.
So have any of you found further assessments beneficial? There has been deterioration, but we manage. In. 2015 the score was just a point above the line.