This is my first post , finding it hard , after so many years of a very happy marriage the name calling and aggression to me really hurts , I feel like my heart is breaking , and I know it must be even worse to have this awful illness . I cant imagine what my dear husband is going through .
How cruel is AD
- Thread starter UPDUCK
- Start date
Hi and welcome Upduck.
You've arrived in a fantastic community of support and advice where you'll find many, many other people going through similar experiences.
Do you have any outside or familial help/support at all yet or are you coping on your own?
Do keep reading and posting. Others will be along to listen x
You've arrived in a fantastic community of support and advice where you'll find many, many other people going through similar experiences.
Do you have any outside or familial help/support at all yet or are you coping on your own?
Do keep reading and posting. Others will be along to listen x
Thanks for the welcome , already I don't seem so alone , my husbands daughters come for the day when they can we go for lunch and have a coffee then they go . Day to day I am on my own , my sister lives near but she works a lot . Been a little tearful lately and writing things down seems to help, been using pen and paper but thought this may be better .
Upduck, I'm so sorry for your sadness and pain. I had this too with my OH - so hurtful and I considered leaving him many times. It was the illness though and I am happy to report he seems to be through that phase. Hang in there, keep posting here, and know that you are not alone, we are walking the walk with you.
Assuming you are in the UK - find out if there are any Alzheimers groups in your area eg singing, bowling, football memories, dementia cafe etc. This can be a way of getting out and also getting info and support.
Next, make sure you have applied for Attendance Allowance using SW or CAB or Age UK to help complete forms. Then apply for council tax reduction. This money will help pay for daycare. Get your GP or SW or CPN to make a referral for daycare. At first it might be one day a week but you can then try to increase that to two or three days.
Try to get these things moving asap as this only gets worse and time to yourself makes it all bearable.
Do you have POA in place? If not download the forms and deal with that too registering it immediately. A solicitor will do it for you but it is significantly cheaper to do it yourself.
You are not alone when it comes to advice with TP but you do need a carers assessment so that you are on the radar of social services for future help.
Good luck.
Next, make sure you have applied for Attendance Allowance using SW or CAB or Age UK to help complete forms. Then apply for council tax reduction. This money will help pay for daycare. Get your GP or SW or CPN to make a referral for daycare. At first it might be one day a week but you can then try to increase that to two or three days.
Try to get these things moving asap as this only gets worse and time to yourself makes it all bearable.
Do you have POA in place? If not download the forms and deal with that too registering it immediately. A solicitor will do it for you but it is significantly cheaper to do it yourself.
You are not alone when it comes to advice with TP but you do need a carers assessment so that you are on the radar of social services for future help.
Good luck.
a warm welcome from me too Upduck. Sorry to hear how you are feeling, this is a horrible path to travel for both sufferers and carers and very up and down along the way.
You sound a very caring person, I am glad you get some time to spend for coffee with your husbands daughters.
You are never alone on this forum. Wishing you well and sending you a big hug from me xxxxx
You sound a very caring person, I am glad you get some time to spend for coffee with your husbands daughters.
You are never alone on this forum. Wishing you well and sending you a big hug from me xxxxx
Hello Upduck, may I welcome you too.
I'm new to TP too and only joined after my wife had to be placed in a CH recently after 6 years of me being her sole carer.
The support and advice on here is fantastic and I wish that I'd known about it years ago. For instance no one had told me that Attendance Allowance was payable or that I could get a reduction in council tax. This is a help now towards the CH fees but would have made such a difference in the years I was coping alone.
Keep posting Upduck, you have many friends here.
Geof
I'm new to TP too and only joined after my wife had to be placed in a CH recently after 6 years of me being her sole carer.
The support and advice on here is fantastic and I wish that I'd known about it years ago. For instance no one had told me that Attendance Allowance was payable or that I could get a reduction in council tax. This is a help now towards the CH fees but would have made such a difference in the years I was coping alone.
Keep posting Upduck, you have many friends here.
Geof
Hi Upduck, and a very warm welcome from me too. 
Keep posting of any problems you're experiencing because this is the most wonderful community of cyber friends, who will offer you help and support - and never judge you.
And everybody here is either caring, or has cared for a partner, so have a good idea of what you are going through. A huge welcome cyber bouquet, and a hug are on their way to you xxx
Keep posting of any problems you're experiencing because this is the most wonderful community of cyber friends, who will offer you help and support - and never judge you.And everybody here is either caring, or has cared for a partner, so have a good idea of what you are going through. A huge welcome cyber bouquet, and a hug are on their way to you
xxxWelcome, Upduck--
So glad you found Talking Point and are posting. It helps a LOT, as does reading through tons of posts to learn how others have dealt with this awful disease.
It's wonderful to know you have others who have "been there, done that" and that you can freely express yourself here and be embraced with loving care.
I'm glad you're here; the help is tremendous, knowing you're not "all alone."
Please Keep posting,
Willow Tree
So glad you found Talking Point and are posting. It helps a LOT, as does reading through tons of posts to learn how others have dealt with this awful disease.
It's wonderful to know you have others who have "been there, done that" and that you can freely express yourself here and be embraced with loving care.
I'm glad you're here; the help is tremendous, knowing you're not "all alone."
Please Keep posting,
Willow Tree
Hello Upduck. Everything marionq says are the best things to sort out first. Once you get the ball rolling and things get sorted you will feel better. Day care is vital at this stage where hopefully your husband will go without any hassle and once he finds that he likes it you will glad of the little break once a week and then maybe it could be increased.I wish you luck and hope you will post again. so that we know you are getting on ok.xxx
Hello Upduck, welcome to TP, you have come to the best place for help and advice, there will always be someone for you to talk to day or night. This forum has been my lifeline, so many wonderful people, we are all dealing with much the same problems, ask whatever you want to know we can help you, take care.
Thanks to everyone , I feel like I have friends already , this really is a great site , now I am blubbing again !! The advice on what to get going is really helpful, went to a Dementia coffee morning last Friday but we only lasted for a quick cup of tea and he wanted to go , but going to try again this Friday . Thanks again , you are really special people to care about others with so much going on in your own lives .x
Hi Upduck. Many of us on here are caring for a loved partner. In my case, it's my husband and it was our 46th wedding anniversary on Monday. The effects of this horrible disease are devastating. The benefits of TP are that we all understand and we are understood which is really supportive.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
