How can you keep the house safe, but secure?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Glad, Jan 26, 2007.

  1. Glad

    Glad Registered User

    Jan 13, 2007
    13
    Surrey
    Hi everyone! I hope you can help me again. My Mum has come out of hospital now, following seizures and inability to stand/walk. She lives with Dad and I have been to their house more often of late and realise that it is now like a fortress. Mum's dementia makes her want to find her (dead) relatives and she tries to escape the house, often in the early hours of the morning, so Dad has all doors and windows locked and keeps the keys on him, like a jailor. What happens if anything happens to Dad? What happens if there is a fire? Has anyone got any good ideas about keeping safe, yet secure? Also, it looks like, in the long term, Mum will have to go into care. Does anyone know if Dad will have to sell his house to pay for this? Where will he live if he has to do that? I really hope you wonderful people can help me again! Lots of love Glad
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Glad, don't have all the answers...........but, should your dear mum have to be admitted to a home, dad would be able to stay in the family house.
    Various assets come into play, but at least dad would continue to be entitled to his home.

    Hope things works out for you. Take advice......and I am sure you will receive some good advice from TP soon.
     
  3. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hello Glad

    So sorry things have got worse for your mum and dad. It must be so difficult for you.

    The only thing I can suggest, which is what we did when our mum still lived alone, and used to put all sorts of stuff behind her front door to keep people out, was to install a Key Safe outside. I think it cost my brother about £46 and he installed it. However, I have read on TP that Social Services may do it for you, but there will no doubt be a wait.

    On the issue of the house, sorry I can offer no advice on this, as my dad passed away 23 years ago, so we only had to consider mum when she moved into the NH, obviously her home is up for sale to pay for the NH fees.

    I am sure other TP friends will be along shortly to offer some further advice.

    Take care.
    Love
    Cate
     
  4. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    My mum and dad's neighbour has a key to their house, and I do, so we can gain entry if we need to.
    Love Helen
     
  5. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I hope they have got some neighbours you can trust, and perhaps they could get red buttons to hang round their necks, to press in case of emergency?

    Lila
     
  6. Glad

    Glad Registered User

    Jan 13, 2007
    13
    Surrey
    Morning Everyone. Thank you all once again for your kind help and support. I am off to see M & D later today, and will certainly find out if any neighbours have a key and whether they can access from the outside if locked from the inside. Also will find out about key safe box and add it to the list for social services (when they finally get around to doing the assessment of needs!). I expect Ii shall have more questions, as this is a very steep learning curve.
    Lots of love
    Glad
     

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