Hi all - Sorry about this long message!
Quite a bit of time has passed since I last wrote on here and things have changed so much. My dear mum is a lot worse now and is unable to do anything at all for herself. My dad washes and dresses her, has to take her to the toilet, help her to walk and eat...literally everything. The cruelest thing is that she is still very aware though, which I don't understand. I thought by the time mum reached 'this stage' that at least we would be comforted by the fact that she would have little or no awareness. Instead, she gets really upset because she seems to know what is happening and even tries to apologise (even though her speech is quite limited) and it breaks my heart.
My dad is an angel and has done his very best to 'shield' mum from the illness but this is really wearing him down and I am terrified that he will shortly have some kind of breakdown. My sister and I do all we can to help but the main care is down to dad and as everyone in that position is aware, it is so tiring.
Mum doesn't leave my dads side and follows him around the house 24/7. He will even wake in the night to go to the loo, leaving mum fast asleep in the bed and within a minute she wakes up and gets very distressed worrying where he is. They will be in the lounge of an evening and if dad pops out to the kitchen, mum starts to panic and wonders around looking for him. He says he feels completely trapped in his own home and I don't know what on earth to do.
I have talked to dad about introducing outside help to give him a little break but he feels he is letting mum down and on top of that, because of mums awareness, we know she just wont accept a 'random' person and we don't want her to feel as though she is getting any worse. She is only happy with my dad, me or my sister.
Has anyone else had this problem and if so, how do you overcome it. How can we introduce help without compromising mum's dignity? Either that or do we just accept that it is down to us and that mum's happiness is the priority bearing in mind the limited life she has left. I really appreciate your guidance x
Quite a bit of time has passed since I last wrote on here and things have changed so much. My dear mum is a lot worse now and is unable to do anything at all for herself. My dad washes and dresses her, has to take her to the toilet, help her to walk and eat...literally everything. The cruelest thing is that she is still very aware though, which I don't understand. I thought by the time mum reached 'this stage' that at least we would be comforted by the fact that she would have little or no awareness. Instead, she gets really upset because she seems to know what is happening and even tries to apologise (even though her speech is quite limited) and it breaks my heart.
My dad is an angel and has done his very best to 'shield' mum from the illness but this is really wearing him down and I am terrified that he will shortly have some kind of breakdown. My sister and I do all we can to help but the main care is down to dad and as everyone in that position is aware, it is so tiring.
Mum doesn't leave my dads side and follows him around the house 24/7. He will even wake in the night to go to the loo, leaving mum fast asleep in the bed and within a minute she wakes up and gets very distressed worrying where he is. They will be in the lounge of an evening and if dad pops out to the kitchen, mum starts to panic and wonders around looking for him. He says he feels completely trapped in his own home and I don't know what on earth to do.
I have talked to dad about introducing outside help to give him a little break but he feels he is letting mum down and on top of that, because of mums awareness, we know she just wont accept a 'random' person and we don't want her to feel as though she is getting any worse. She is only happy with my dad, me or my sister.
Has anyone else had this problem and if so, how do you overcome it. How can we introduce help without compromising mum's dignity? Either that or do we just accept that it is down to us and that mum's happiness is the priority bearing in mind the limited life she has left. I really appreciate your guidance x