How can we reduce my Mums distress?

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by PennyJ68, Apr 13, 2015.

  1. PennyJ68

    PennyJ68 Registered User

    Apr 13, 2015
    3
    Essex
    Hi. My Dad goes away soon for a well needed break (five days) from caring for my Mum. Unfortunately the last time he went away she got very distressed after a couple of days and was convinced that he had died and left her all alone with nothing. She lives at home and my brother and I will stay with her while our Dad is away.
    Has anyone encountered something similar or have any advice on how we can help her understand that he will be coming back. Many thanks, Penny
     
  2. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,403
    leicester
    Hi Penny,

    Welcome to TP, I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation.

    My husband used to think that I had left him and would be distraught, I did find for a while that if I spoke to him on the phone he would be placated for a while.

    All I can really suggest is that you use as much reassurance as possible and remember that sometimes nothing is enough, the illness rules all, your Dad does need a break I hope you and your brother can work together to keep Mum calm. x
     
  3. PennyJ68

    PennyJ68 Registered User

    Apr 13, 2015
    3
    Essex
    Thank You

    Thank you for your reply and the helpful comments. I wondered whether a short video message from Dad would help this time? Perhaps seeing his face and hearing his voice might alleviate her anxiety. We can but try.
    I agree Dad needs the break and we will do our best to keep Mum calm and feel secure.
    Thanks again x


     
  4. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    That sounds perfect, Penny. If your Mum can understand a calender how about crossing off the days and also putting things you are going to do with her on each day? It doesn't have to be much-going to the garden centre/out for coffee/doing the gardening/shopping etc.

    Well done for helping your Dad have a break

    Take care

    Lyn T
     
  5. PennyJ68

    PennyJ68 Registered User

    Apr 13, 2015
    3
    Essex
    Hi Lyn,

    The calendar sounds a good idea. I have assumed that because she doesn't arrange their diary as she once did that she no longer understands a calendar whereas something as simple as crossing the days off might really help. Thank you. My brother and I do plan to take her out and she will go to her clubs so fingers crossed this time she will be more settled.

    Either way, my Dad deserves the break, as all carers do.

    Take care and thanks again for the advice.

    Penny :)
     

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