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How can we get support/help

TheBostinWolf

New member
Oct 28, 2020
2
Hi my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia (that’s on the assessment form) we are currently going through cycles where she’s fine for two or three weeks, then she becomes fixated on something very negative which results in a massive meltdown, me being kicked out her house and threats of her ending her life. I’m currently having to administer her donepezil daily but when she’s having the off days it gets extremely difficult and the confrontation is wearing me down. My moms doesn’t fully understand her diagnosis and refuses help from social services what can I do?
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
749
Buy a Pivotell with tipper.
i believe sensible people get them free from social,services??
Mum is nearly always in bed but awake at 9am so that is when the alarm goes off.
It is very persistent and nags for you.
I have gaffer taped it to the bedside cabinet, so she can’t move it!
Until she tips it there will be a persistent noise.
That way you only have to intervene if she doesn't do it herself.
I expect you can get a video of one on you tube, if you do investigate then try a get a video made by a real person not the bland corporate one!


 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
850
Hello @Simon wall . Are you able to speak to your mum's doctor about the aggression? It may be that a tweak in medication can help with that and low mood. I know people say that we shouldn't use drugs for everything but it would be better for both you and your mum if those issues could be addressed. Perhaps a low dose anti-depressant such as Mirtazapine, which can be very beneficial if appropriate for her to take, might improve things.
 
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TheBostinWolf

New member
Oct 28, 2020
2
Hello @Simon wall . Are you able to speak to your mum's doctor about the aggression? It may be that a tweak in medication can help with that and low mood. I know people say that we shouldn't use drugs for everything but it would be better for both you and your mum if those issues could be addressed. Perhaps a low dose anti-depressant such as Mirtazapine, which can be very beneficial if appropriate for her to take, might improve things.
Thanks for the reply I will call her doctor tomorrow we are in a difficult position because she hates taking tablets so to go from 1 to 2 may be a tall ask but nothing ventured nothing gained right x
 

Sam51

Registered User
Oct 23, 2020
22
Hi,
Really feel for you,im waiting for results of my mum's test assessment ,but feel I will be in the same situation as you .
My mum will also refuse her medication and any help from social services. She as also said on numerous occasions that she will kill herself.Its hard to cope with at times but if we don't cope with it who will ,I feel that you are on your own when you have a mum who won't accept help because even though you know they would benefit from having carers unless they accept this there's nothing you can do .
It's sad but at the end of the day our mum's still have the right to make there own decisions .
Hope it helps to know we all feel helpless !
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
850
Thanks for the reply I will call her doctor tomorrow we are in a difficult position because she hates taking tablets so to go from 1 to 2 may be a tall ask but nothing ventured nothing gained right x
Worth a go. The doctor may have something to suggest in any case. Another thought is to, if you are not already doing so, noting when your mum is aggressive and/or depressed just in case you can track down anything that is triggering it. Always worth checking for pain and other factors like needing the loo, being wet/soiled and so on but I know it's not always easy to do with an aggressive mum. Sometimes I think it can just be sheer frustration. Good luck. Let us know how you are getting on.