We just found out my 82 year old mother has vascular dementia. She had been recovering from an aortic dissection followed by open heart surgery in November 2018, and she's had strokes at some point in the timeline. She had been physically fit as a fiddle prior to the aortic dissection and would have fully recovered had it not been for the stroke(s). The stroke(s) prevented her from regaining all of her mobility. She's good with a walker but no good with a cane. She can no longer drive. She has struggled with chronic severe depression for about 30 years. Following a UTI which put her in the emergency room on New Year's Eve, the doctor said she COULD NOT GO HOME because she was a danger to herself. He said she HAD TO go to memory care.
My parents had promised each other they'd never put the other in any sort of nursing home. My dad is incredibly distraught. He hasn't been able to see my mom since she went into Memory Care on January 6, because she is in quarantine for two weeks due to COVID. When he called her the other day, she said she wanted a divorce (they've been married for 55 years), and she accused him of putting her in Memory Care.
I've read you shouldn't argue with a person who has dementia. How can my dad not argue when she's saying he put her in Memory Care when he didn't? The doctor put her in Memory Care. (Also, what I say to my dad to comfort him about my mom telling him she wants a divorce?)
Thanks for your help. I am brand new to this forum.
My parents had promised each other they'd never put the other in any sort of nursing home. My dad is incredibly distraught. He hasn't been able to see my mom since she went into Memory Care on January 6, because she is in quarantine for two weeks due to COVID. When he called her the other day, she said she wanted a divorce (they've been married for 55 years), and she accused him of putting her in Memory Care.
I've read you shouldn't argue with a person who has dementia. How can my dad not argue when she's saying he put her in Memory Care when he didn't? The doctor put her in Memory Care. (Also, what I say to my dad to comfort him about my mom telling him she wants a divorce?)
Thanks for your help. I am brand new to this forum.