How can I motivate him?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by sammyb, Nov 18, 2007.

  1. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    126
    Nottingham
    Well it is 4 whole days since my husband came out of hospital and in most respects I think we are doing pretty well - in my book that means eating and drinking is just about back on course and he only did a little protest at getting dressed this morning. But I cannot shift him off the bed for longer than it takes to get to the bathroom and back. On the ward they took his bed away one day to stop him returning to it but I don't have that option. Prior to AD he was a keen and highly skilled domino and card player as well as being excellent at cryptic crosswords but he's having none of that now. That's probably because he thinks he wont be able to play or do such things at the same level as before and I don't want to give him simpler versions because he might think I am patronising him. He needs to be getting around the house a bit to help his back and improve his muscles etc having been in hospital for so long when nothing was done physio-wise. Has anyone any suggestions please?

    Love from Sammyb
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    Dear Sammy,

    I wish I could could provide some useful suggestions for motivation, but I`ve found with my husband, the lack of self esteem, plus the depression, plus the slower processing , does little to encourage it.

    I bought a couple of family games, but we only played them once. Bought a Rubik Cube thinking it might act as `worry beads` but there`s no interest. Out of desperation, I borrowed some board games, including Junior Scrabble, Chess and Draughts, from my grandchildren, but the are still unopened.

    Does your husband have an OT? Perhaps you might get some ideas there.

    I`d love to know the answer too.

    It sounds as if the aggression and antagonism have gone, so I suppose it`s something to be thankful for.

    Love xx
     
  3. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    126
    Nottingham
    Yes Sylvia he does have an OT but probably the least said the better! I daren't said her voice sounded like - to her face! She suggested he colour in pictures which, again, is not great for someone who could draw brilliantly and whose pen and ink drawings hang on our wall! He also sculpted wood so perhaps I may just re-introduce the chisels. That'll take a leap of faith! There are lots of creative things he used to do and I am just wondering whether I could casually leave a few things round the place.

    Love from Sammyb
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    #4 Skye, Nov 18, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2007
    Sammy, don't knock the colouring!.

    John also used to paint wonderful watercolours, but when that became too hard I got him some adult colouring books, and printed off some mandalas from the web. He enjoyed doing them, particularly the geometric shape books and the mandalas.

    It's worth a try, anyway. I'll see if I can find the site, you could try them free. You can find the books by searching adult colouring on Amazon.

    PS Found the thread! Have a look at this, by Nell. I found it very useful.
     
  5. lizzie2596

    lizzie2596 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2007
    91
    Hi Sammy

    Given how creative your husband used to be how about something like plasticine to see if he wants to work in 3D again. Do you think he would take to something like lego or mecchano?

    Liz x
     
  6. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    126
    Nottingham
    Thank you so much everyone. I didn't know there were such things as adult colouring books - and meccano and lego, yes! Those are three distinct possibilities. I can see a Christmas present in there too. Cheers people!

    Love from Sammyb
     
  7. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    126
    Nottingham
    Hallo Skye - have just been on Amazon and have ordered adult colouring books - three for him and one for me! All I had seen on the ward were what I would call kiddy colouring books. Never knew posh adult ones existed and they look great. Onto meccano next!

    Love from Sammyb
     
  8. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    Hi Sammyb

    I tried this for my mum after suggestions on TP - sadly it didn't work for her - but everyone is different, so I hope it works out for you

    Libs
     
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #9 Margarita, Nov 18, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2007

    Not sure if your husband can walk unaided or if the bedroom is upstairs or on one level

    as that use to happen with my mother soon as she was wash bath dress her in her room she lay back down on the bed and did not want to get up .

    so what I had to do was after washing her , was to dress her in front room , I would wrap a towel around her tell her that I had left her clothes in front room . then I got her a hight back chair and sit her they while I done her breakfast .

    OT also told me if mum did not keep active her leg muscles will became weak, also it not good for the body system to eat a dinner and then lay down to sleep .

    OT showed mum few simple exercises hold on back of chair bending down , also I would take mum to coffee shop just so that she would walk , but she was finding that very hard going and use to lean on me for support and did not get on with a wheel thing I got her to help her walk .

    she would call me from front room and I would not answer her only so she would look for me in kitchen so she would walk .

    Its hard going
    trying to keep mum actively moving as mum AZ progressed as she wanted to sleep move , so had to get mum in to AZ day centre to help me keep her actively moving
    no matter what I gave her to entertain her and she do it all siting down anyway which was no help for her leg musical, so just walking down stares out of flat was a form of exercise to the bus to take her to day center

    I can't drive , would have to get taxi so could take mum out to the park for a walk
     
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

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