Hello Everyone, I am finding myself with something of a dilemma and in real need of hearing from others who have ever found themselves with similar problems. My father had AD and at this moment is in a nursing home for respite care. He is 75. His AD has progressed rapidly these last two years due to many factors not least of which is poor diabetes diet control. My mum is 74 and has been his main carer although I have been around 3 or 4 times a week for the two years. My own relationship with my mum has been poor since I was a child(I was a daddy's girl and she didn't like it). Her way of coping with my dad's deterioration has been to drink too much too often and hasn't taken kindly to what she has perceived as my interference. Things came to a terrible head two weeks back when I called unexpectedly(something I don't usually do)to find a situation which terrified me. Dad can't use the phone, open the door or find help and mum was not capable of care-I won't go into details as I am sure you can imagine. The social services have been involved for a long time but my call that night to them triggered a big step up and my dad's resulting respite. My mum's reaction to this is to turn her venom on me, including putting a note in dad's pocket to tell him it was me who put him in the home. I am now not welcome at their home, she has barracaded the door I have a key to and is saying some terrible things about me to anyone who will listen. I visited my dad two days ago in the care home and was shocked at how he has deteriorated further, although he was thrilled to see me and sobbed in my arms. My mother has told social workers that she will let me see him if I basically make an appointment first. I can't cope with the thought of not seeing him, but likewise can't cope with her animosity that would make me and him feel bad. He is due to return home in two days and I am torn and hurting. I feel selfish for feeling so badly. I know dad will forget my visits and the last thing I want is to make a bad situation worse but I fear for his safety and am not sure who is listening to my concerns. Whatever should I do?