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How can I help my mother in a care home ?


Registered User
Oct 19, 2015
Hi, My mother had a stroke two years ago and is in a care home. She has dementia and is in a wheel chair. The residents of the home do not communicate much with each other and she is bored and lonely. The family try to visit as much as possible but with work and family, it is not possible every day. What can I do to help her? I have just contacted the local alzheimer's organisation to see what they can suggest. But if anyone else has been through this and has any ideas please let me know.I'm thinking about things like reading groups -- anything really to provide some company and stimulation. Thanks so much.


Registered User
Jul 23, 2015

Speak to the home; there should be an activities coordinator there with a timetable of things for residents to do.

Speak to the Alzheimer's Society; Age UK and any other voluntary sector organisations in the area to see if there is a befriending or visitors scheme.

Speak to social services and the memory clinic / mental health team; some local authorities and health organisations have specialist nurses/ care home teams who visit and work with care homes to provide activities.

Is your mother religious? Would she benefit from the local church visiting; have you tried audio books or would this confuse her?

If your mother is self funding, there is nothing stopping her attending a local day centre or dementia café. There shouldn't be for those who are funded by social services but the reality is they won't fund this sort of thing as well as the care home.

If your mother is funded by social services, contact them and raise your concerns about the lack of social stimulation and interaction.

The care home is your mother's home but that doesn't mean she has to be confined to it all the time. The only caveat being that any visits out of the care home may lead to added confusion and potential resentment / upset at having to return to the care home.

Good luck


Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
Hi ChrisTina and welcome to TP :)

Firstly I do really identify with your situation, it can be so hard feeling that your loved one is lonely and bored :(

It really is the responsibility of the home to provide activities, though. Your visits should be the icing on the cake - after all, lots of residents may have no-one to visit, so the home shouldn't leave anyone without stimulation.

My mum's home has a part time activities co-ordinator who is always grateful for extra help from volunteers. Might that be something you can do? By the way, the activities that seem to go down best often involve music, whether a concert ( by local schoolchildren), a sing along, or the church service that includes hymns.

You will know best what your mum will like. But I'd say definitely talk to senior home staff first, to see what they provide or would like to provide. You need to work with them, I feel, if possible :)

Good luck :)

Lindy xx


Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
Do they not have something like pat a dog and other activities that she is able to join in? Everyone can join in some activities. Definitely would go back to the care home and persuade them to give her some individual time - they have a duty to look after people holistically and maybe the Stroke Association would have a volunteer who would go once a month and it would be worth trying Contact the Elderly to see if any of their volunteers may be willing to spend an hour reading? If you could get several volunteers it could amount to one a week - still not much but if the care home up their input then hopefully she will regain some quality of life -

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