My mother is 85 and recently diganosed with vascular dementia. She has a carer visit once a day to give her medication and check she is eating her meals and I take her out every other day shopping and to get out of her sheltered accommodation. Although she can dress herself, make cups of tea and microwave her food,we've noticed in past months she is wearing the same clothes every day and is starting to smell. I've noticed the bath is bone dry with unused towels and soap and I suspect she hasn't had a proper bath/shower for months. The carers have managed to get her to change her clothes every few days and I sneak them out to wash them but they haven't managed to get her into the bath, as she either insists she has already had one, or that she has one before she goes to bed at night (around 9 ish) I'm at a loss as to how to manage this -when I mention it, she accuses me of being bossy and that of course she is clean. I am thinking of visiting her around bedtime one evening and telling her to get in the bath to prove she does what she claims - but what if she refuses even then? (The bath is arranged for elderly people and getting in and out physically is not an issue for her; it's accepting that she needs a wash) I can't really force her -well I can - I'm her daughter -I can rip off her clothes and manoeuvre her into the bath but that's hardly going to improve our relationship, is it? Does anyone have any ideas of some way I can persuade her? Motivating her with fancy soaps and gels won't work as she's always been a plain soap and water, bath once a week person. A bath once a week would be fantastic now, compared to what she obviously has not been doing in recent times!