How boring is your life as a carer?

[jenniferjean]

The Doctor says he is only responsible for prescribing the medication which doesn't seem to be creating any problems, there is nothing else to prescribe so there is nothing else he can do. In the meantime I carry on as his sole Carer 24/7.

I disagree with your doctor. His responsibility is to you as well as your husband. Go back to your doctor and tell him that you can't carry on like this as it is affecting your health. Ask him to refer you to social services as requiring help. My doctor did this and I found that social services reacted quicker than if I had contacted them myself. However, if your doctor is not willing to do this, then you must contact social services and ask for help. You need help. It is out there, you just have to fight for it.

 

[silkiest]

Hi @Jan L I would definitely get in touch with the Admiral Nurses, they should know of any local cost free or low cost help. Our local council provides 2 hours care twice weekly free to my MIL even though she is self funding.. The Admiral Nurse referred MIL for this service and it has been a godsend. The carer chats, takes her for walks and takes MIL to the local hairdressers - it gets her out of the house, gives her some mental stimulation, helps with hygiene and gives us a break.

 

[Jan L]

Hi @Jan L I would definitely get in touch with the Admiral Nurses, they should know of any local cost free or low cost help. Our local council provides 2 hours care twice weekly free to my MIL even though she is self funding.. The Admiral Nurse referred MIL for this service and it has been a godsend. The carer chats, takes her for walks and takes MIL to the local hairdressers - it gets her out of the house, gives her some mental stimulation, helps with hygiene and gives us a break.

Hi @silkiest thank you for your reply and suggestions, I just feel I am walking through quicksand and living on an adrenalin rush which isn't doing either of us any good. Trying to get out in these difficult times is bad enough but when you take some one in my Husband's condition with you it is very difficult and quite over whelming.

 

[Jan L]

I disagree with your doctor. His responsibility is to you as well as your husband. Go back to your doctor and tell him that you can't carry on like this as it is affecting your health. Ask him to refer you to social services as requiring help. My doctor did this and I found that social services reacted quicker than if I had contacted them myself. However, if your doctor is not willing to do this, then you must contact social services and ask for help. You need help. It is out there, you just have to fight for it.

Hi @jenniferjean, thank you for your encouragement, I was thinking of going to see/contacting one of the other Doctors in the practice, maybe one of the lady doctors, before I get to the stage when I just give up and don't bother anymore. These are such difficult times for everyone, and if doesn't look as if it is going to get any better anytime soon. I just want some help so that I can continue to look after him at home, but with the level of care he requires now 24/7 it is too much for one person but I can't bear the thought of sending him out of his home to go into care, it just doesn't seem right.

 

[Jan L]

hey you are allowed to be stressed out. maybe you were too strong. i have 4 and the all have there own lives children homes etc they all rent their homes.my son and son-in-law will help mowing grass bit of diy as i cant do it due to my back but they bring the grandchildren which entertains my husband with their antics and he plays with them. his eyes light up and he comes alive so i can sit back and just enjoy it. and their partners can put kettle on. thats all i ask of them, i sort of manage everything else. children dont judge and accept granddad the way he is a big kid himself

Hi @jennifer1967 my Sons call when they can and would always respond to an emergency, my Daughters in Law have very close relationships with their own Families so I don't see them very often or the Grandchildren.