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House

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,481
Kent
It is hurtful though I know, unfortunately I have no other relatives, apart from my own 2 lovely children, just the families of my sisters and not much contact there either, glad that you have wider family.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,646
Essex
Our relatives in Malaysia have no idea what is going on but they were concerned about me being on my own and when dad was ill they were hoping that my brothers were helping. Once I am more settled I can think about other things including visiting them but one of them has expressed a wish to come here in March which could be interesting!

MaNaAk
 

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
394
South east
Hi @MaNaAk you have been a wonderful daughter but have your brothers been wonderful sons.?
They are complaining about “ all the stress you have caused”. You couldn’t make it up.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,646
Essex
Dear Melles Belles,

It's very interesting that you should ask that because both mum and dad used to say that they love all their children. However the eldest of my two brothers regarded himself as the black sheep of the family and he could be disrespectful to both of them. Also my sister-in-law didn't help and my youngest brother used to keep saying how busy he was and thus made it difficult to ask for help from him. Dad also sometimes wondered where he was and between Xmas 2018 and dad's death six months later he saw him once.

There are a whole host of things that my brothers should have done but the list is very long. They used to talk about what dad should have done as a father and my eldest brother used to talk about what mum should have done but of course this has stopped now!

MaNaAk
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
582
Lytham St Annes
I am glad you have had some advice from the estate agents.

You know as sad as it is and I understand that you are hoping to gain a relationship with your brothers once everything is settled and I really hope that you do.....

However from your posts and from what you have said that your brothers have said ..... I think they just are so unaware and unaccepting of what you have done and the care you have given.

Who knows why they feel that way, and obviously their perspective on everything is very different to yours.

But you know in your heart you have absolutely been there for your parents and you should take great comfort from that.

They just don’t get it and probably never will sadly.

I too hope everything gets sorted quickly and you can settle in your new home.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,646
Essex
Thankyou Diane. Does anyone who has read this thread know how I can deal with disturbed sleep before I move out?

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,646
Essex
I'm glad I'm not the only one then. We did more clearing today and I got upset because the memories came back. My brother and his partner tried to cheer me up although he did say this was more to do with me not wanting to move.

He will be away for a couple of so I will be able to work at my own pace in peace.

MaNaAk
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,057
Nottinghamshire
There’s non so blind as those who will not see @MaNaAk . I have a couple of siblings like yours and, after speaking to a counsellor who said that I “can’t make things right for everyone”, I’ve decided to make things right for myself and my kids. Like you we know we did everything we could for dad so we can hold our heads high. We won’t be seeing my brother and sister again for a very long time - preferably never.

Of course it’s all my fault :rolleyes: ...

You look after yourself now. It’s a shame your dad didn’t leave you the house.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,646
Essex
Exactly! I updated my eldest invisible about de-cluttering the house and apparently I gave the impression that my youngest brother didn't as much as he thought!

MaNaAk