1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. mrf94

    mrf94 Registered User

    Dec 17, 2014
    I am writing this as much to clear my head as telling the tale,

    My wife had a docs apointment on the monday, was noticing the signs of agitation,
    as in uti etc over the weekend but held off due to the mon apointment , we went on mon went through the usual ,blood pressure etc allso explained she had the runs ,then got the prescription for antibiotics and sachets of salts to replace what was being lost,
    we have all been there,

    well the days went by and things got worse changing clothes bathing throwing the bed sheets n duvet away, The toilets upstairs bringing its own probs ie humping said wife up and down the stairs.

    so on the third day evening went for the doc to come out and check the wife who by this time is bed bound he turns up about 7pm ish does the usual checks and goes to arrange an ambulance to hospital.

    A St johns ambulance arrives abot 9 pm ish they spent an hour with the wife oxygen etc etc and calpol do bring the fever down only then did they put her in the ambulance yes it took a while but couldnt fault them they were profesional to a tee

    So about 10 ish we get to the hospital.... oh i asked why st johns n not nhs the answer nhs dont have enough ambulances or the people to man them so they sub out to us,

    so were at the hospital shown the bed the ambulance crew get her in bed and covered i thank them they leave.

    I am now sat there with the wife waiting after 1/2 an hour i realise wifes in a bed with a fever and doing a fair bit of twitching etc so in a flash of brain power lift the beds sides, over maybe an hour i answer the questions tell them she has dementia she has dementia she has dementia no its not a typo my answer to the stupid questions asked of the wife who is in a state of fever and doesnt know if shes on this earth or fullers earth (you have to be old and use drum brakes on your car) daughter turns up checks her moms ok by this time the calpols working and the wifes coming down slowly.

    we leave i live 10/15 mins from hospital taxi gets me home 12 ish.

    All done now for few days respite and travelling up and down visiting yes?

    No. morning after gets a phone call this is the hospital your wife fell out of bed has broken her hip needs operation goes up there demand a doctor between the phone info and this docs info two storys wifes on nil by mouth they dont know whats up with what shes in for in the first place shes not hardly eaten for two days prior now there starving her

    You couldnt make this stuff up


  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    Hi Dave :)

    I am sorry you and your wife have had such an awful week. There just isn't enough care and attention, is there? Nor enough understanding of dementia :( It's just no way to treat people :mad:

    I'm not surprised you need to clear your head. What a sad end to your week, too. I can only hope your poor wife has a successful operation and is back to a level of good health soon. Get some sleep if you can, Dave. You have certainly earned a rest.

    Sending you very best wishes and a hug ( if that's okay with you)

    Lindy xx
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I'm so sorry to read about your wife Dave.
  4. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    NW England
    Hi Dave,
    Sorry you have had such a rough week, it has been so hard on both of you.
    I hope your wife's operation goes well.
    Take care of yourself.

    brambles x

    p.s. I remember fullers earth, but I used it in my teenage years as a face pack.
  5. rafferty

    rafferty Registered User

    Dec 27, 2011
    My heart goes out to you .we do everything to keep our loved ones safe and when we think we can relax a little because they are in a place of safety we are proved wrong ,i hope your wife recovers soon.
  6. starryuk

    starryuk Registered User

    Nov 8, 2012
    Hi Dave,

    I am so sorry to hear about your wife's broken hip. Actually, it has made me very angry. This happens all too often in hospital as far as I can see. Would you think about speaking to PALS about it later?

    For now, though, I wish you and your wife good luck with her op.

    I know nothing about fullers earth by the way! Off to look it up....
  7. mrf94

    mrf94 Registered User

    Dec 17, 2014
    Thankyou for your replies/comments,

    The wife is now recovering from a hip joint op, But no one can tell me what the fever etc was about, one assumes uti but?

    2 days without memantine , took full strips so could check easy
    when i asked about the memantine i was asked "whats it for",

    I am begining to think the only intelligent question i was asked was "how long have you been married"

    "Back in the day when your car/motor bike went for its test you put fullers earth in the brake drum"



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