Hospital

[dogdayafternoon]

Had another video call with my wife yesterday 5:30 pm, I think one of the carers did it for her and used the homes tablet. She was quite happy asking where I was, I moved my phone to show the backdrop behind where I always sit, the things on the wall are all things she liked to look at from her seat in the past, she said she did not remember them. I asked what she had for dinner and I heard the carer answer that she had not eaten all day. She then got a little upset asking why I could not take her out for a drive, I explained lockdown to her again but then she said she could go and visit a lady who has been passed about 40 years.
The good thing is I saw the carer in the screen was wearing a mask, just worried about the eating.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Have had a few phone calls with her this week, yesterday at 5:30pm she sounded tired said she had had a pain in her tummy and the runs and there were long gaps in her answers, I finally told her to try to sleep.
This morning she called full of energy asking why I had put her there, they would not let her walk about and she was trapped in bed, she refused to accept there was a lockdown and about the virus and that I was using this as an excuse to get rid of her and she would rather be in spirit. In the end I was getting upset so told her I had to go to the toilet and we could talk later. Feel guilty but nothing I can do at present

 

[dogdayafternoon]

First phone call today since Friday, her phone has been off, one of the carers called me and told her i was calling, she was ok not too depressed, I heard the carer asking what she wanted for breakfast but she did not take any.
Later I had a long talk with the nurse who told me my wife is still not eating or drinking much, she went in on 101 kg and is now 91kg and they worry about her catheta getting blocked, the good thing is she is talking and they think she is a character also she has walked a few steps to the chair to sit so still able to move her legs, they are waiting for lockdown to end so she can have a physio, she had a test for covid 19 and was negative, will take some clothes and drinks she like up today, it's just a waiting game for now until the lockdown ends.

 

[Cat27]

Thanks for the update @dogdayafternoon

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Just had a call from a different nurse at 6:45 pm who told me my wife had been seen by the doctor as she was complaing of tummy pain. She had been checked and was all clear except some noises in her tummy that the doctor said were caused by loose stools as she is not eating and not drinking eneough and the doctor had told her she must drink more and the staff had given her juice and lemonade.
Do not really know why she called as I can't do anything, at the beginning of the call I thought somthing serious was happening as the nurse had a strong accent and had a little trouble telling me what had happened.

 

[Cat27]

It’s good that they are keeping you updated @dogdayafternoon.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Thursday she called in a really happy mood, she said the doctor had seen her and she was all ok and he was really nice and made her laugh. Later the nurse called me and said they had called a paramedic as she had chest pain but ecg and exam showed all ok, she also said my wife had enjoyed the attention.
Friday she was not happy, did not want to stay there, Saturday a little better but hoped we could be together soon.
Today she said she would sleep in the chair as she had no bed, i tried to tell her she had a bed in the home and that I could not see her because of the virus, she got upset and said she might as well be dead, I told her don't be silly a lot of people can't see their loved ones at the present but it will get better, that calmed her down a bit.
What happens when we can visit she will want to come out with me straight away, I have tried to explain to her in the past that things would need to be organised but she forgets.

 

[jennifer1967]

im sorry you are having such a hard time. can the dementia nurses come back. hospitals were starting to be dementia friendly colours on the floor all sorts to make it easier. the nurses are supposed to be looking after her not relying on you to do what is needed.oral morphine is the same as morphine but there are lots more and they usually give 2 paracetamol four times a day as well. try not to tire yourself out and make sure you look after yourself. you matter as well

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Latest news, just had a call from a nurse in an NHS rehab ward in another care home, they are going to move my wife there tomorrow to try to get her fit enough to come home, maximum time 6 weeks, not sure if they will manage as she is still not eating enough and still recovering from the pressure sores.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

They did move her on Friday, the nurse there called and told me she had arrived and was ok but a little confused, two minutes later a social worker called to tell me the same thing so good for keeping me updated.
I called on Saturday and a care worker told me she was fine but not eating much, I asked if they could connect her mobile to their router so we could use whats app but she said their wi fi was not very good, tried calling my wife on her phone, it's ringing but no answer Sunday or Yesterday, in the last place they used to answer it for her or use it to call me for her as she has lost the way of how to use it, will try later today and try to get them to anwer it for her.
Not sure how hard they will try to get her fit in this rehab ward, she has always been a bit lazy over exercise.

 

[Agzy]

It is bad enough keeping up with communications with staff and loved ones from afar in normal times but now it can be chaotic. Good luck

 

[dogdayafternoon]

The past two days I have called the ward and asked to speak to my wife and they just give her their phone, yesterday she was very slow to reply to things I said as if she was medicated then two care assistants came to put her in a sling to move her to a chair, one of them spoke to me on the phone and said she would call me back when they were finished but never did.
Today I called and they gave her their phone, she was very confused started talking about my brother (I am an only child) and hoping i was comming home soon, I used to work abroad and would phone her from wherever I was every night so she thinks that's what is happening now. When I said we would get her home when she is better she said the street name of the house we sold in 1990, we have had three houses since that one.
It's only a week but I do not think this rehab is working for her but from what she says she is happy there.
I think when the six weeks are up they will send her home even if she is still not mobile and this is just to show they are following procedure.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Just saw my wife in the garden on a 30 minute visit she was in a wheelchair but looked good and was happy to see me, said she forgave me for having a baby with that other woman! don't know where she gets that one from but she was happy. Have made another appointment for Wednesday, the nuse said she was very happy after seeing me, feeling much better myself now.

 

[canary]

Im glad that was a good visit - even if you do have another baby (maybe she watched something about Fathers Day?)

 

[Woo2]

I’m glad you got to visit and your wife was happy to see you and that it’s helped you feel better too . Hope weds visit just as good .

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Another garden visit yesterday, she was still happy to see me but thought we were going home and she did not have her key. I explained she needed to get fitter first and she seemed to accept this, then she started saying she needed the toilet, the 30 minutes were almost over so I called one of the carers to take her inside.
Have another appointment for Saturday, I will visit as much as possible as it makes her happy.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Just had the Saturday visit, she was happy at first then it started raining hard and she was feeling cold, she started saying she needed to study to occupy her mind and that her mind was ok but she needed to think more slowly.
She said we were going home now and I said no you have a room here and she seemed not to realise she had a room, she started saying she wanted the toilet and luckily the nurse came to get her in. The nurse returned to take me to the gate to get out and I asked if my wife could walk at all and she said no she needed a full body hoist so it looks like after two weeks of the six week programme she is not progressing.
Will they send her home if she needs a hoist?
It was still raining as I walked to the car, my knee was aching and I felt miserable.

 

[Cat27]

I’m sorry you felt miserable today @dogdayafternoon. I hope your knee has stopped aching now.

 

[dogdayafternoon]

Sorry to be so downbeat yesterday, I know there are so many carers on here who are having a worse time coping.

 

[canary]

Everybodys allowed a bad day @dogdayafternoon - its not a competition.
xx