Garden visits started on Wednesday and I had the first appointment, 15 min with the carer close by to make sure no contact. Wife was pleased to see me but thought I had gone to America with another woman to have a baby!
Got another visit just now, changed it from garden to cinema room because of the wind, wife was upset saying they were trying to kill her and when I protested she said I was in on it, got her calm by the end of the 15 min, have two visits booked for next week.
Tuesday visit was cancelled at the last minute as her catheter had come out twice and the nurse wanted her to stay in bed for a while. Today was ok, she thought I was taking her home and then she said she was cold and had a blanket round her shoulders, the supervisor was in the room and I asked about her cardigans, she sent someone to check who came back and said she arrived with just two sets of clothes.
I am a little annoyed, it's not their fault but I delivered two suit cases of clothes to the first home including dressing gowns underwear, cardigans and many of the T shirts she liked, looks like most have gone missing in the moves between homes including the cases.
I have packed more and will drop them off later.
Tuesdays visit was good, she was happy but wanting her hair coloured, I asked at the main door and they said just drop off some home hair colour and one of the carers will do it which was nice. Next appointment I was able to get was today at 3 pm, I dropped off a bag with the colouring at the main door and was asked to go to the garden for the visit, my wife was wheeled out with her hooded jacket on and a blanket, she said she was cold and hardly talking, in the end I asked the carer to take her inside and told her I will visit again. In the end I felt like she would have preferred to be left inside and my visit had just disturbed her.
Turned up for the 1:00pm visit, the manager came and apologised, two staff tested positive so they have tested all the patients and are waiting results. She said she called all the peple with visits yesterday and did not know how I was missed, I told her not to worry better to be safe.
The nurse called tonight to tell me my wife is not eating, not drinking much and not taking her medication, she has had a little protein drink. The nurse said she had complained of feeling sick and the doctor had given a prescription but not yet received but will she take it if she is not taking her other medication, don't know what is going to happen.
Just called the care home to ask how she is, they put me through to the nurse who explained she is still not eating or drinking much and that is affecting the healing of her bed sores but they are not getting worse. She did not ask if I wanted to speak to my wife and I had the impression that my wife is probably not making much sense so not worth the upset.
Difficult when you can't easily communicate. I call my mum's care home about once a week (I haven't visited since March) but only speak to mum if they suggest it, which is very rare. I did speak to her last week at a carer's request, to try and calm her down. Although she was happy afterwards, she has been distressed since then, so I wonder if it would have been better not to. Hard to get these things right. I hope you have encouraging news next time you call. Is the care home still closed to visitors?
Have called the home a few times now and spoken to the nurse each time, on Monday the nurse said my wife was still not eating or drinking much and that when the doctor visited he thought she should visit the memory clinic !
All this time, two hospitals and three care homes and she still does not have a diagnois or has it written down that she has dementia.
Yesterday afternoon I had a phone call from a community nurse who wanted to ask about my wife, I gave her all the information I could, I also told her my wife had a CAT scan in the first hosptal in March and the psychiatric team there said she was delusional. In the end she said she would visit my wife and see her face to face. I got the impression they want to know if her memory loss is causing the not eating. There should be a lot of information in her records but it does not seem to be connected or even all in the same place, on a number of occasions I have repeated these same stories to her doctors and various clinicians. They would have a better idea if they read this long posting and the previous one "not sure".
I read your post and related to it. My wife who has long term dementia went into hospital after a fall three weeks ago and then diagnosed with covid, as was I.
Before she went into hospital, I was caring for her at home and to be honest it became too much for me and I was also referred for mental health support and to cap that, then also diagnosed with covid. I am now clear and at home, with brilliant support from the mental health team. I dearly want my wife home.
My wife was able to walk and get in and out of bed and her chair, with a little help, before she went into hospital, but I am now being told that she will not get of bed without the use of a hoist. The hospital are now saying that she will need a hoist at home and two carers.
I just cannot understand how she was able to walk before she went into hospital and three weeks later cannot get out of bed or walk. I think she is just being stubborn and has decided not to co-operate with the nurses. The cost of care has been worrying me, but I desperately want my wife home, as this is something we have promised each other over the years.
I would say that I have no criticism of the hospital or staff, who have been marvellous with both of us, even to the extent of moving into the same ward when I was in hospital. I will always be thankful to nurses and staff and also the mental health and care support staff who have provided advice and support.
If she’s not been encouraged to get herself out of bed she could well have forgotten how to do it @FG1974.
My mum’s been in hospital just over a week and when I visited yesterday she was using a walker which she’s never used or needed before. The previous Saturday she was stomping round the house on her own.
Infections of any sort can progress dementia. Usually its a UTI (urine infection) that causes so much havoc in people with dementia, but covid seems to cause a lot of long term problems too - even if the symptoms seem quite mild at the time.