The rehab ward just called, they say she is not improving and not reacting whith the physios, her memory score was only 30 and she seems more confused. They have taken more bloods to see if there is any infection and want to do another CT scan to see if they have missed anything.
They said her case worker from the ss is going to call me on Thursday to talk about the long term care, they also said in their opinion she would not be able to be cared for at home in her present condition needing two carers and a full body sling to move her.
I have a garden visit booked for tonight at 6pm so I will see how she is, I had thought the last two visits she seemed more confused than at the first one.
Had the garden visit, she was agitated not wanting to speak until the carer left then she started rambling on about some plot to shoot me or if not me her. I tried to calm her down but the whole visit was about that or she was playing with the straps of the body sling she was sitting on, at one point she thought they were the straps of her handbag.
It was one of the longest 30 minutes I have spent, don't know if it's because it was 6pm, my other visits have been 1:30 or 2:30 or she is getting worse.
Im sorry the visit was difficult. It could well be because the visit was later and she was sundowning. When I used to visit mum (long before lockdown) I always made sure I left well before 4.00pm because she was always much more confused in the late afternoon/evening
I had visits with my mum like that when she was in hospital. I couldn't say or do anything to sooth her fears or stop her trying to pull drips out. I was never able to get to an earlier visit because of work but others said she was better earlier...and I bet she got those drips out the minute I left...
The result of the bloods was ok, I got a letter from the hospital about the time of the CT scan for next week so I called the care home, they said they had just called the hospital and found out that way and that they will kep her in the rehab ward until they know the result of the scan (it's for the thorax and abdomen). I told them the last time she went for an MRI scan she got agitated and refused to get out of the wheelchair.
Tried to get a garden visit for today but the soonest is Tuesday.
The CAT scan was this morning so I did not want a visit in the afternoon in case she was upset but 3:30 pm was the only free slot and only 7:00pm on Saturday so I took today's 3:30pm. She had taken the scan ok but had not been back in the home very long before the visit and refused to come down, the nurse came out to tell me and i told her not to worry it was as I had expected. The nurse said they were concerned that she was still not eating much and they were struggling to get her to drink the protein drinks or fluids. They will keep her in the rehab ward until they know the result of the scan. The room in the other care home has been kept open for her.
Looks like my soonest visit will be Tuesday now, not seeing any good outcomes at the moment.
Had a good visit on Monday, no news about the CAT scan, made an appointment for a garden visit for today, turned up and they said she's not here, she was transferred yesterday, did no one tell you. (I felt like saying if I had been told would I have come here).
Called the new care home they said she was ok but they do not have garden visits so I asked them to get her phone set up on whats app so we can have a video call.
The nurse from the first care home has just called to appologise, they thought the social worker was doing it. I asked about the cat scan, it was ok no real nasties but chronic gall blader infection.
That really is quite appalling that nobody called you . Shame about the infection but good there is nothing more sinister., hopefully they can get on top of it . There has been a few moves for your wife hasn’t there , hopefully she can settle somewhere soon.
My wife called yesterday morning and began telling me some rambelling story, after about 10 minutes i think a nurse came to do something, they took the phone and said hello, i think they were just checking that there was someone there. Later my wife's voice went to a whisper as if she did not want anyone to hear what she was telling me.
I used to work abroad and my wife was used to me being away for a few months, she seems to think that is what is happening now as she was asking when did i get home, should i go allong with this? it may help her as to why i am not visiting now, she seems quite happy at present.
I feel strange like in limbo, do not have anyone to talk to, a few words with next door if they are out and a few in the shops. Do I try to make a new life? this is not a good time to meet new people with corona fears but if I did I would feel guilty somehow.
I think that if your wife seems happy then there's nothing wrong with going along with what she is saying if she thinks that you are working abroad. It will be easier for both you and your wife if she remains happy. I can understand that you feel in limbo, these are strange times for everyone and you have had a lot of upheaval on top of the covid-situation, with your wife going into hospital and then a care home. I would suggest just taking one day at a time at the moment and doing whatever feels right for you, rather than feeling that you have to start a new life and go out and meet new people. It will take time to adjust to the new situation so give yourself some breathing space and there are always people here who you can talk to.
Have tried to call my wife all week, phone just rings. Today it went straight to voice mail so I called the care home, they took a phone to her, she was in the cafe and wanted me to bring the car down to pick her up, I told her the car was in for a service so she said come in to the cafe for a tea, I told her I would not be allowed because of the virus. She was with some other people as I could hear them and heard her tell them I was afraid of the virus.
She does not seem to have missed my calls from Saturday to today.
I hope they allow some kind of visiting soon.
Just called the care home to ask if there are any plans for visiting but there are none, they put me on to my wife who was in the lounge watching TV, she was happy said she had just had tea and a biscuit then asked where was I, as I am sure she thinks I am still working abroad I told her I was in Singapore where I have worked in the past, she was happy about that and then told me she was in London yesterday but did not stay long, it's amazing what the brain can make up. As long as she thinks I am out of the country she won't be worried that i am not visiting her.
Social services have decided that her present placement is permanent, I have just received the form to sign so now it feels real. I phoned yesterday but she seemed distracted and did not want to talk much, she did seem happy enough so I am not going to try to phone as much.