Hospital, tears and anger

[Ajd2508]

Hospital, tears and anger
3 weeks ago my dad had a fall at home & managed to call an ambulance, had scans etc and outcome was a floating piece of bone/ slight fracture in his neck. He refused to wear a Collar so at 3am he was discharged. Since then he has been obviouly in a lot of pain, and just laid on his bed losing interest in everything.On Monday I called the doctor as he hadn't eaten or drank for two days, was physically shaking and not very responsive. He was admitted to hospital as doctor thought he may have a UTI or possibly sepsis & definitely needed fluids.
Once he was on a ward he became really frightened, crying and clinging to me, why had I taken him there & begging me not to leave him. I rang first thing yesterday morning to be told he had settled and had a good night but tests were still being done. When I went to visit I couldn't believe how he had deteriorated in just 24 hours. He had no idea where he was, what was happening and nothing he said made sense. Yet if a nurse came over he would become really charming! When I came to leave there were more tears and he was quite agitated. After 9pm I had a call from the hospital saying would I speak to dad to calm him down as he was agitated & getting angry. The same has happened again tonight.
While he was at home I would have numerous calls but I can't believe the hospital keep ringing me to try and calm him
In one way I'm relieved he is in hospital but then feeling guilty and am dreading what might happen next.

 

[Aisling]

Hospital, tears and anger
3 weeks ago my dad had a fall at home & managed to call an ambulance, had scans etc and outcome was a floating piece of bone/ slight fracture in his neck. He refused to wear a Collar so at 3am he was discharged. Since then he has been obviouly in a lot of pain, and just laid on his bed losing interest in everything.On Monday I called the doctor as he hadn't eaten or drank for two days, was physically shaking and not very responsive. He was admitted to hospital as doctor thought he may have a UTI or possibly sepsis & definitely needed fluids.
Once he was on a ward he became really frightened, crying and clinging to me, why had I taken him there & begging me not to leave him. I rang first thing yesterday morning to be told he had settled and had a good night but tests were still being done. When I went to visit I couldn't believe how he had deteriorated in just 24 hours. He had no idea where he was, what was happening and nothing he said made sense. Yet if a nurse came over he would become really charming! When I came to leave there were more tears and he was quite agitated. After 9pm I had a call from the hospital saying would I speak to dad to calm him down as he was agitated & getting angry. The same has happened again tonight.
While he was at home I would have numerous calls but I can't believe the hospital keep ringing me to try and calm him
In one way I'm relieved he is in hospital but then feeling guilty and am dreading what might happen next.

Yes it is so difficult but hospitals don't seem to understand. I had to stay with OH when he was in hospital for tests. It is so awful for you. All you can do is try to talk to him when they ring you.

Am not much help but wanted to reply to you. Sending you virtual hugs and hope they help in some small way.

Aisling ( Ireland)

 

[jorgieporgie]

The frustration of hospital, you know you have to rely on them but they do not have the resources to be able to care for dementia suffers. I think they should have separate wards and qualified staff that are trained. When Mum went in to have a pacemaker fitted myself and daughter took it in turns to stay day and night. The staff were happy with that as It was us that looked after her with the toilet duties, washing and feeding. We got provided a family room to sleep in but never got chance as they buzzed for us as soon as we left Mum saying she wanted us. Finally got a recliner to sleep along side of her. Hope your Dad is on the mend and home soon. x

 

[Ajd2508]

So today's visit I arrived to find dad with his bag packed as he wanted to go home. He was very agitated and the nurse couldn't have been happier to see me & leave me to deal with him as he was being difficult in the ward. He has no idea where he is or why he's there, and is swearing and making completely inappropriate comments about others in the ward. So another couple of hours just repeating myself over & over and trying to calm him.
If they tell me again he is jus a bit confused and that's normal for people with "cognitive impairment" I'll scream! I unpacked and put all the bits back and when I left asked the nurses not to give in and call me again tonight just because dad asks them to as I don't think it's helping him.Then was made to feel guilty for not taking the phone calls when "they only called me because they were asked to.
Think I have to have a day off from visiting tomorrow - cant sleep as things going round and round in my head and I just seem to be getting more and more frustrated.
Sorry, rant over

 

[Spiro]

What kind of ward is he on and have you had a chance to speak to the medical staff?

I would go to the hospital and ask to speak to his consultant. The last thing
you want is the medics trying to discharge him before the weekend without support in place, simply because they need the bed.

It's well known that hospitals are bad places for people with dementia. The longer he is in hospital the more likely he is to deteriorate.