Hospital stay, please advise

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Reds, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    My husband has Alzheimer's and had a recent hospital stay. I stayed with him for 5 nights as too worried to leave him alone but was too much for me as slept in a chair. A lot of illness on the ward which was mentally draining. Any tips on hospital stays. I have read the fact sheet.

    Did I do the right thing by staying with him as not sure he would be checked enough re incontinence or reassured that he is ok. Shortish of nurses.

    Reds
     
  2. eyebrows

    eyebrows Registered User

    Feb 20, 2018
    13
    Hey Reds,
    My mum has been admitted to hospital a few times and despite constant visits, she escaped twice! It was always the same cause that put her in the hospital, but we had trouble convincing the staff which tests to run and what to check for first. They also didn't seem to believe us when we told them that our mum had dementia and would seem capable and self-assured but probably wouldn't know what was going on. Long story short, she discharged herself once and escaped another time.

    I'm sure it was a huge drain on you having to stay the night (for five nights!!) but for your husband's sake, it was probably very reassuring to have you there as someone recognisable in what was I'm sure a very disorientating and confusing scenario. Unfortunately I don't think that there is enough funding, and most hospitals are massively understaffed and pushed to the limits to provide enough care. In terms of advice... I can't be much help, but I do think you did the right thing.
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,717
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry your husband has been in hospital recently Reds, and I hope he is ok now. Not sure I can say you did the right thing or not, you did what you felt he needed at the time and that is all you can do. It's more than I can handle.
    Last time my OH was in A&E from 11 am to 9 pm or so, I had to come home for half an hour, which actually made for nearly two hours with the return drive. When I got back she was desperate for the toilet and thankfully I got a nurse in time. It's not the nurses fault, they were great. I felt guilty, but was no use to her getting stressed, so that is the constant battle for balance. Our local hospitals are more flexible with visiting hours than they used to be and that does help us as carers to be there or to escape when the pressure gets too much.
    Not sure if that is helpful or not.
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,747
    Female
    Scotland
    I went home for a few hours too when John was in for the day. I arrived back in the early evening to find him tucking into fish and chips and vanilla ice cream. Perfectly happy.
     
  5. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,380
    Kent
    I stayed in with dad during 2 lengthy hospital stays as well as his A and E visits. Dad was very agitated...frightened...incoherent..tried to leave the ward etc...so yes for me although chair sleeping was very uncomfortable night after night and my circumstances allowed me to stay with him...18 months after his passing I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Do what feels right for you.
     

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