Hospital or prison

yorkylover

Registered User
Feb 17, 2013
35
0
57
Fareham Hants
My mum has been is hospital for nearly 3 weeks. She was admitted with a chest infection and a broken arm.

Mum has not eaten for the 3 weeks and not drinking much at all.
The doctors say she would be better of at home in her own environment as she is well enough to go home where she may start to eat and drink again in familiar surroundings.

We have to now wait for the occupational health to assess the home for equipment we need and the social have to be involved when they are short staffed in the mean time mum just gets worse while we are waiting for all this to be put in place. They think she is in the later stages of dementia and if that's the case we want her home.

We have no support net work its just me and dad and don't know where to go from here!!!!

Also they are not getting her medication into her so she seems to be very withdrawn.

Lots of people have read my post has anyone gone through the same or got relatives in hospital at the moment.Need advise where can we get support.
 
Last edited:

BR_ANA

Registered User
Jun 27, 2012
1,080
0
Brazil
Sorry you are distressed by hospital.

I hate when my mom is in it.

Bumping your post.
Sending hugs.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
Hi yorkylover
I'm saddened that you are disappointed with the care your mum is receiving

When my dad was discharged from hospital he had a 're-ablement' package in place - this may be what they are putting together
he had 4 home care visits a day - to get him up, washed, breakfast, meds - then lunch and meds - tea and meds - and put to bed and meds. He also had a physio visit and an occupational therapist to look at the house and suggest aids which were put in place - he also had phonecare installed with a pendant button for emergencies, and a tracker
I appreciate that you want him home, however it's worth having the care as it's such a help, takes the weight from you and your dad's shoulders so you can do the real caring for your mum
maybe ask for one of the SALT team to visit and assess your mum as she is not eating - which is worrying
you mention later stages - maybe contact your local hospice as they are the experts on end of life care and may well be able to give you helpful information
do you have an Admiral Nurse in your area - they specialise in supporting when dementia is involved
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/admiral-nursing/
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/find-local-admiral-nurse-team/
maybe contact the PALS in the hospital to gain their perspective
sorry I have no other ideas
very best wishes to all of you
 
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yorkylover

Registered User
Feb 17, 2013
35
0
57
Fareham Hants
Hi yorkylover
I'm saddened that you are disappointed with the care your mum is receiving

When my dad was discharged from hospital he had a 're-ablement' package in place - this may be what they are putting together
he had 4 home care visits a day - to get him up, washed, breakfast, meds - then lunch and meds - tea and meds - and put to bed and meds. He also had a physio visit and an occupational therapist to look at the house and suggest aids which were put in place - he also had phonecare installed with a pendant button for emergencies, and a tracker
I appreciate that you want him home, however it's worth having the care as it's such a help, takes the weight from you and your dad's shoulders so you can do the real caring for your mum
maybe ask for one of the SALT team to visit and assess your mum as she is not eating - which is worrying
you mention later stages - maybe contact your local hospice as they are the experts on end of life care and may well be able to give you helpful information
do you have an Admiral Nurse in your area - they specialise in supporting when dementia is involved
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/admiral-nursing/
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/find-local-admiral-nurse-team/
maybe contact the PALS in the hospital to gain their perspective
sorry I have no other ideas
very best wishes to all of you[/QUO

Thanks for advise admiral nursing could not help us out of area and none of the family were in the forces!!!

They are getting a package together but it takes time in the mean time she is going down hill fast.x
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,725
0
Hi yorkylover
I'm saddened that you are disappointed with the care your mum is receiving

When my dad was discharged from hospital he had a 're-ablement' package in place - this may be what they are putting together
he had 4 home care visits a day - to get him up, washed, breakfast, meds - then lunch and meds - tea and meds - and put to bed and meds. He also had a physio visit and an occupational therapist to look at the house and suggest aids which were put in place - he also had phonecare installed with a pendant button for emergencies, and a tracker
I appreciate that you want him home, however it's worth having the care as it's such a help, takes the weight from you and your dad's shoulders so you can do the real caring for your mum
maybe ask for one of the SALT team to visit and assess your mum as she is not eating - which is worrying
you mention later stages - maybe contact your local hospice as they are the experts on end of life care and may well be able to give you helpful information
do you have an Admiral Nurse in your area - they specialise in supporting when dementia is involved
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/admiral-nursing/
https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/find-local-admiral-nurse-team/
maybe contact the PALS in the hospital to gain their perspective
sorry I have no other ideas
very best wishes to all of you[/QUO

Thanks for advise admiral nursing could not help us out of area and none of the family were in the forces!!!

They are getting a package together but it takes time in the mean time she is going down hill fast.x

I think I would tell the ward matron that I wanted the palliative care team involved. This sounds scary but actually from what you are saying if she doesn't get any help then she may be moving towards the end of life, she may be anyway, it is so difficult to tell but the team would be able to help and advise.

I am not at all sure why a hospital cannot get medication into your mum? They can give this to her in a variety of ways and if anyone can do it a hospital can. It sounds very odd. Does she have an intravenous drip to hydrate her if she is not eating or drinking? I would want some real answers about why medication is not being given and I would ask that in writing.

Would it be possible for you to arrange a rota of family and friends to be there at some of her meal times each day? Anyone with dementia in an unfamiliar environment is going to be frightened and possibly even not recognising food in the form it is being delivered. I know this is very onerous but it is just til the care package gets sorted out and it might help.

I would also be on the phone and email to social services each day - sadly it is often a case of 'he who shouts loudest' these days!
 

yorkylover

Registered User
Feb 17, 2013
35
0
57
Fareham Hants
Mum is being fast tracked from hospital probably by next week.

There is no more they can do for her. She is not eating or drinking will be 5 weeks on Saturday. She is on fluids but that will stop when she comes out. If she will not drink when home then she will not last very long. They think she may start to in her own environment. When she went in the could walk aided and eat on her own and use the toilet now she is bed ridden. I didn't realise vascular dementia could make someone go down so quickly!!!!
 

yorkylover

Registered User
Feb 17, 2013
35
0
57
Fareham Hants
Mum

I cannot remember how to post a new thread!!!

My dear mum passed away peacefully last night I have mixed feeling a sense of relief for her but very mixed emotions.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
0
72
I am so sorry to hear that your mum passed away. It is a comfort to know she is now at peace.

Vascular Dementia can move very fast, in my limited experience.

I am thinking of you and Dad. x


PS to post a new thread, choose the area you want to post in, probably the Tea Room, then New Thread is a button at the top right, give a title and post! I'm sure your mind is all over the place.
 

starryuk

Registered User
Nov 8, 2012
1,323
0
Yorkylover, I am so sorry to hear that your mum has passed away. It seems to have been so sudden, which must makes the shock even worse for you.

It happened that way for my mum too and I comforted myself with the thought that the final sad times did not last long for her.

So sorry.
x
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,050
0
GLASGOW
What a shock for you all. Vascular dementia can progress very quickly. My mum has it and has also declined rapidly. Sending you strength for the days ahead. Love to you and your family.