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Hospital or no hospital?

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
172
0
My OH went into a nursing home a week ago following a rapid decline in his condition.
Yesterday he had a temperature and the doctor was called, antibiotics prescribed, this morning a slight improvement, this afternoon a deterioration. The doctor has asked me should he go to hospital.
My OH has always hated and been afraid in hospitals long before the Alzheimer’s and I am aware how a hospital environment can have an adverse effect on Alzheimer’s sufferers and add to there confusion. I have said I would prefer him to stay in the home where he has nursing care 24 hours a day, a quiet, private room and seems to be peaceful but that may limit how aggressively they can treat his infection. Now I am torn , how do you make the right decision? I can’t even visit him!
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,294
0
It's a difficult decision but I would have said the same as you. It is a huge responsibility to have to take these decisions for another person, but you know how he felt about hospitals pre-Alzheimers so I would take the lead from that. And you're right that hospitals are not good places for dementia patients. Have you been able to talking to the staff at the nursing home about it, to see if they support that decision?
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,768
0
66
Toronto, Canada
My sister and I decided that my mother would not be hospitalized regardless of the situation but be treated to the best of the home's abilities. We wanted to keep her in her familiar surroundings.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,155
0
My OH went into a nursing home a week ago following a rapid decline in his condition.
Yesterday he had a temperature and the doctor was called, antibiotics prescribed, this morning a slight improvement, this afternoon a deterioration. The doctor has asked me should he go to hospital.
My OH has always hated and been afraid in hospitals long before the Alzheimer’s and I am aware how a hospital environment can have an adverse effect on Alzheimer’s sufferers and add to there confusion. I have said I would prefer him to stay in the home where he has nursing care 24 hours a day, a quiet, private room and seems to be peaceful but that may limit how aggressively they can treat his infection. Now I am torn , how do you make the right decision? I can’t even visit him!

I can't advise you @Vic10 but my dad spent 3 weeks in hospital last year and it was the worst 3 weeks of my life and dads but he immediately forgot all about it afterwards. Yes he declined a lot. He went from walking with a stick to having to use a frame in the house and a wheelchair outside of the house. He could potter about before but when he came home he could not recognise his home and his kitchen remained a complete mystery to him until he died earlier this year.. He was also unable to make a cup of tea or work his TV anymore. I had to move in with him just to make sure he was safe.

He did however retain his lovely nature and his wit which I am thankful for. I am sorry you are in this position as it is an awful decision to make and it is not helped by the no visiting policy. I visited twice a day every day, I wouldn't have coped if I couldn't keep a check on him.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,155
0
@Vic10 After dad came home I spoke to dads GP and we both agreed that dad would not be admitted to hospital again and we managed to keep him at home for another year,
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,332
0
North Manchester
If it is an infection needing intravenous antibiotics it is unlikely that the home can administer these.
Have a word with the doctor and nursing staff, a good question to ask is 'what would you do if it was one of your close relatives?'
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
172
0
It's a difficult decision but I would have said the same as you. It is a huge responsibility to have to take these decisions for another person, but you know how he felt about hospitals pre-Alzheimers so I would take the lead from that. And you're right that hospitals are not good places for dementia patients. Have you been able to talking to the staff at the nursing home about it, to see if they support that decision?
Thank you, Sirena, it’s encouraging to know other people feel the same as me. I haven’t spoken about this to the staff yet but I will now, thank you
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
172
0
Thank you, Canadian Joanne.
My sister and I decided that my mother would not be hospitalized regardless of the situation but be treated to the best of the home's abilities. We wanted to keep her in her familiar surroundings.
That is how I feel, it helps to know others feel the same.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,002
0
South coast
The main differance between the treatment your dad would get at hospital and in the home is that IV antbiotics can only be given in hospital. If taking antibiotics by mouth (pills or liquid) is enough, then it is a no-brainer, but if the tablets dont work, then you have to decide whether to take him to hospital or just leave him with palliative care in the nursing home.

Only you can make that decision. It depends on how far the dementia is advanced, what would happen if there is a sharp downturn afterwards, and also how you feel about the situation.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
172
0
I can't advise you @Vic10 but my dad spent 3 weeks in hospital last year and it was the worst 3 weeks of my life and dads but he immediately forgot all about it afterwards. Yes he declined a lot. He went from walking with a stick to having to use a frame in the house and a wheelchair outside of the house. He could potter about before but when he came home he could not recognise his home and his kitchen remained a complete mystery to him until he died earlier this year.. He was also unable to make a cup of tea or work his TV anymore. I had to move in with him just to make sure he was safe.

He did however retain his lovely nature and his wit which I am thankful for. I am sorry you are in this position as it is an awful decision to make and it is not helped by the no visiting policy. I visited twice a day every day, I wouldn't have coped if I couldn't keep a check on him.
I had hoped to keep OH at home so the move to a nursing home was unexpected. My OH can no longer walk, talks very little, hasn’t been able to use tv remote for over 12 months and probably couldn’t get a glass of water let alone a cup of tea, I’m not sure how badly a visit to hospital could effect him but I want him to retain what little peace and dignity he has left. You have helped me feel I have made the right decision, thank you
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
74
0
We have also decided on no hospital (unless a broken limb or similar). We are lucky that Mum has completed an Advanced Decision, and has particularly said she does not want to go to hospitall, even if it shortens her life, so we know we would be acting on her wishes.
She actually did break her leg in early April, and the whole thing has had a major impact on her dementia. Our mantra is quality, not quantity.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
749
0
We had this decision to make, with my Mum, who sadly died a few months ago in her care home.
She had pain relief and palliative care and stayed with the staff who knew her in her care home. She had almost stopped eating and drinking, so really I think she made the decision for me. I was able to talk with the Community Matron about choices some months before, and made the decision then that hospital only if absolutely unavoidable or all agree that there is a reasonable chance of recovery.
I do not think that going to hospital would have stopped the inevitable, but it is a very individual decision. The point we reached, Mummy had little to no quality of life.
I wish you strength at this difficult time.