Hospital has cut medication without consent

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Wish, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    I recently had a discussion with a doctor and was told that nothing can be done to help my family member i stated that i would prefer home care if they are in thier last moments that was denied and now i find out that they have stopped all medication for them.
    I cant figure out why i havent been told yes i may cry but what do people expect but not communicating with me has made me feel even worse and so alone.
     
  2. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Oh wish, I am so sorry . Could you not speak with a doctor ? Can't offer much advise but I am sure someone will be along soon. Sending hugs in the meantime xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  3. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,929
    London
    Hello Wish, so sorry you have not had valuable support yet and indeed feel so alone, doctors are in a position that they cannot discuss their patient,unless you are on their "system" as to having permission from your family member, however I think at least an explanation needs to be given as to why you cannot talk to them,maybe it may help to write a letter and asking what practical help may be given and drop this in to the GP, above all please note that on this website is support and understanding so please keep posting, also a warm welcome to Talking Point to you and hope you find this site helpful.
    Take care
    Chris
     
  4. rajahh

    rajahh Registered User

    Aug 29, 2008
    2,794
    Hertfordshire
    Have you tried PALS they might at least listen to you . There should be a base in hospital, if you can't see it ask at reception
     
  5. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Thank you chick1962
    I have but the doctors just disregard my concerns and tell me to put up pictures in the room i told them i cant replicate smells the spirit ,the essence of a family home but she told me he isnt responsive to anything so i shouldnt be all too concerned about that. I just get the feeling they dont care
     
  6. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Thank you the support everybody.
    I have tried pals hopefully they can get a better line of communication then i did.
    I just feel so useless i cant walk without crying im trying to be strong but breaking inside and frightened that i can see my family structure breaking apart and i cant hold it together for them.
    Im sorry to be putting so much out just my mind is an absolute mess
     
  7. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    So hope Pals can help wish . Don't worry you just post away as we are all here to prop each other up xxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  8. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,077
    Yorkshire
    Hi Wish
    I really feel for you - I know how I was when my mum was in hospital 10 years ago; walking through treacle
    I'm so sorry that you aren't feeling supported or listened to
    it's said that the last sense to shut down is hearing - maybe you can take in some form of sound system and play music or sounds (bird song, Radio 4, seascapes, voices of family members, especially the children ...) that your family member has enjoyed in the past
    and whether or not the doctor is right, I'd be doing what you are thinking of - finding some scents that may evoke pleasure; a favourite perfume(his wife's?)/cologne/after shave, some scented flowers, fresh coffee grounds, sweets eg peppermints; you could make yourself a drink of some infusion and fan the scent towards him (if you don't have access to a kettle, take in a flask); favourite tipple (I love the smell of whisky!) - and think of touch too; a favourite fabric/possession under his hands, a gentle massage of hands and forehead (though not too much, mum told me prolonged it just got annoying)
    you can't recreate home; you may just evoke some memory and provide some comfort
    best wishes
     
  9. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    What medication have they stopped? I guess their comes a point that there is no reason to continue to medicate for things.

    maybe they are too poorly to be moved and there is no where local with end of life beds available- I think wanting something and not always being able to have it are part and parcel of life.

    I wonder if the doctor thought you understood when you had the chat, that meds would be stopped?

    Its a horrid time, I feel for you.
     
  10. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Hello everyone
    Thank you again for the replies it is helping me the medication that they have stopped is metformin for diabetes.
    I know it seems over the top but I would rather he has all medication at least I feel everything is being done to help him rather than sitting in a room just watching doctors nurses nobody help him.
    I'm trying to bring in smells that he like and create a pleasant atmosphere but I can tell he doesn't like the place and it's breaking my heart.
     
  11. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,140
    Male
    North Manchester
    "...the medication that they have stopped is metformin for diabetes..."

    As dementia progresses various bodily functions can be effected, a common one is renal function. If this is impaired the metaformin dosage may be dangerously incorrect, it is better discontinue the medication.

    Towards end of life several medications may not be correctly absorbed and it is normal to discontinue those for long term morbidities. Pain relief will be given and maybe other drugs included in the just in case pack - pain,agitation,breathing,nausea.

    Try and have a talk with a senior doctor.
     
  12. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,077
    Yorkshire
    Hello Wish
    I'm sorry your heart is breaking
    sometimes the kindest action is no action; there's a point when life is coming to a close when giving meds and even fluids is crueller to the body than allowing it to naturally come to a full stop; it may be that this is the place your relative has reached, which may be why the medical staff appear to be doing nothing - we are almost hard-wired to want to do something, to find a solution to an issue and then take action - it's so hard to come to the acceptance that all has been done and there's nothing to do but be at hand, hold your relatives hand and just be with him - you are not useless; you are caring and supporting your family member in his final journey

    do you have a hospice near you? it may help to speak with someone from there as they have vast experience

    that's not to say don't check with the medics that this is what is happening and have them answer any questions you have - maybe, as chris53 suggests, write out your concerns and hand them to each of the medics so that they realise they haven't explained the situation fully

    best wishes
     
  13. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,664
    North West
    There's probably a plausible reason, such as nitram suspects, but surely they could have explained this and maybe spared you the worry you are experiencing.
     
  14. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Thank you for the help I have tried to speaking to senior doctor she just wasn't interested in the course of care that we wanted and she decided to go ahead and discontinue the meds that he was on which would be fine if they told us but they didn't which is so frustrating as it could of provided a turning point in regards of his health.
    They just told us that's he's on end of life care and no mess should be given without any reason no real attempt at communication despite the fact that one of his family is here all the time
     
  15. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,140
    Male
    North Manchester
    #15 nitram, Jul 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
    "...but surely they could have explained this and maybe spared you the worry you are experiencing..."

    The dreaded 'patient confidentiality' raises its head.

    In the absence of any documentation clinicians have to be confident that they are not disclosing information to the 'wrong' person. With so many dysfunctional families around they don't want to risk litigation.

    A sad state to be in I know!!
     
  16. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,140
    Male
    North Manchester
    Try and find out if there is a palliative care team or macmillan team on site.

    If there is have a talk with them.

    Failing that try and contact a local hospice.
     
  17. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Oh Wish, you are in an awful state. Totally understandable. I just know a little from experience and everyone is so different. I know when I was seriously ill following an accident I could hear everything that was said around me. I was also aware when family were with me. I hope this helps you in some small way.

    Blessings
    Aisling
     
  18. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Thank you for the support i cannot evenbegin to express how helpful this is proving to be.
    I felt thqt i should provide an update well it seems that my realtive was talking today and eating which is great to hear although i know it could be snatched from me at any moment i will hold onto this.
    I spoke to the on site doctor and asked to see all of my family member medical notes so i could see when the meds had stop being given i was denied told its with another department and as it end life i should focus on the present and not bring up emotional thoughts.
    Feeling really annoyed that information that could help me gain understanding is being taken away
     
  19. Wish

    Wish Registered User

    Jul 8, 2016
    17
    Especially since the doctors told me that my family member isnt eating or talking only to be told by nurses that they are is annoying and i cant shake the feeling that maybe denying them certain medication could be damaging them when a slight chance to help
     
  20. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Has your family member a named next of kin to whom the doctors give information?

    Aisling xx
     

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