1. Amber17

    Amber17 Registered User

    Sep 20, 2019
    11
    #1 Amber17, Sep 23, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
    Hi my mum had a stroke 2 years ago and developed vascular dementia. Recently she has been admitted three times in hospital in a space of 4 weeks for low sodium and UTIs
    Last admission hospital doctor diagnosed delirium and said she can go in care for better care management for 2-6 weeks trial then decide whether to go home or stay.
    The doctors think I can’t manage as she’s been diagnosed with delirium.

    My mums moved in with me 2 years ago and only recently had three hospital admissions. Before she was fine.
    I could never think of putting her in care She has had delirium when she first moved in I struggled for 14 months then she become completely calm for 8 months.

    Can anyone give advice as I feel the doctors think I’m not doing enough they think care home will give her better care than own loved one. Just because she was admitted in hospital three times. I’m not sure what I was meant to do when gp referred my mum to hospital.
    Can hospital make decisions to force her in care home when I can and want to manage.

    The rest of the health care, gp, psychiatric, dieticians social worker etc think she’s being well cared for.

    I got carers coming 4 times a day for an hour each time to help support. My husband and my children we as a family love and have been caring for her last two years without any problems... she’s not had any illness up until this month.
    I don’t think any care home could provide the level of care she’s already getting.
     
  2. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    339

    The hospital tried to say my mother had delirium when it was actually the worsening of her dementia. They ran a urine test and found nothing wrong.

    She was so bad I actually argued I couldn’t cope. She thought she could see a dog in a washing machine in the middle of the ward and bees in her bed! She tried to climb out of a window because masked ninjas were coming to shoot her but they insisted I took her home! If you have a care package in place I’m sure they will let her come home. They will only keep her if they think she’s at risk or a danger to herself.
     
  3. Amber17

    Amber17 Registered User

    Sep 20, 2019
    11




    Thank you for your reply
    I do feel for you and hope you have sorted something out with your mum. I’m surprised they expected you to take your mum home without a care package and expressing you can’t cope.
    In my case the opposite suggesting I can put her in care.
    I did manage to get mum home tonight Il only know as time goes by how she will be.
     
  4. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    339

    I’m so glad you managed to get your mum home that must be a big relief.

    The hospital insisted my mother had delirium, when they found nothing in her urine sample they said she hadn’t had enough fluids. They called me at 7pm and said I had to stay with her because they couldn’t calm her down. They made me feel I didn’t care and shamed me into staying. I had to sit by her bed all night I was exhausted. She had a few lucid hours and they said she was fine definitely had delirium and it wouldn’t come back so I brought her home but it was just a let up in her symptoms. I didn’t understand the symptoms of dementia could come and go to such a degree.

    If she’s hospitalised again I will not bring her home. This morning I woke to her standing over me with a pair of curling tongs insisting I get up. She was really angry accused me of stealing her things. It happens every day now and it’s mentally draining. I know she must be tormented but nothing I do helps no matter how hard I try she is relentless. I really think she needs specialist care x
     

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