Hospice for dementia
Hiya Debbie and Lila,
After eight months in the nursing home, this afternoon Mum actually said for the first time, "I live here, you know." She really has settled down in the NH and feels it is more like home to her and she enjoys talking to her new friend.
My Dad was in hospital for four weeks, with heart and kidney failure, in July 2000. They were trying to get him stable enough to be sent home, or to a care home to recuperate. Mum visited him every day and I took her on alternate days. One afternoon we arrived, and the ward was closed to visitors because there'd been a death.
My Dad had a heart attack just before visiting time and they had tried to contact us before we left home. We were too late, but they couldn't have rung any earlier. Even if we had been there sooner, it wouldn't have made any difference to him, as the heart attack was unexpected and sudden. At least he was at peace and in no more pain. His legs had swollen up and they couldn't find the best medication to sort the problem out. He was 84.
I know I wasn't there at the very end, but we saw him as often as possible and he had other visitors too. The staff said he had a very positive attitude to life and his sudden death took them by surprise too. He wrote a letter to an MP just before he died and he asked a friend to type it, but he wasn't able to sign it. I posted it anyway, with an explanation about why it was unsigned and the MP wrote back. Dad was still very alert mentally at the end and didn't have dementia.
I think we can only do our best and sometimes the unexpected happens and things don't go the way we had hoped.
Kayla