1. MelissaParker

    MelissaParker Registered User

    Aug 11, 2007
    This is a horrible, horrible, horrible illness. I think we are getting towards the end now. I have not registered or posted on this forum before but have drawn courage from other posts. Please let it all end soon for us as a family. How difficult and horrible it is. I must try and remember the happy times and the good times although it is hard to do this amidst all the suffering. Please, please don't let him suffer any more, please let him be at peace.
  2. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Mellisa
    welcome to Talking Point.
    There are many on this Talking Point who would agree with you.
    Is there any way that we can help you ?
    There is lots of help and advice here.
  3. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    east sussex
    Dear Melissa,

    So sorry you are feeling so low, I know just how you must feel. i lost my husband in April and i also was wishing the torment would end for him. The end was very peaceful and not too prolonged. I am relieved he is now no longer suffering.

    my thoughts are with you,keep us posted.

    love Cynthia x x
  4. MelissaParker

    MelissaParker Registered User

    Aug 11, 2007
    Thankyou, I am feeling so hopeless and useless. I know I can't stop the inevitable happening but i'm frightened. I love him so much. I want his suffering to end but I don't want him to go, I want him back how he was before but I know i can't have that. He is so ill but i can't help him! Why us? Why him?
  5. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Dear Melissa,

    Your's is the universal cry of those who love someone with dementia. Whilst some of us are still a long way from the end, others are facing what you are facing and some have already been down this route.

    I suspect at heart everyone wonders "Why us? Why me?". It seems so cruel of fate to visit this awful disease on those we love, and thus onto us as well.

    We all understand your suffering and feel such sympathy for you. May your plea that it soon be over be answered quickly.

    Thinking of you with deepest sympathy.
  6. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    Hi Melissa

    Your post touched a chord................i know just how you feel honey...............my heart goes out to you, i wish we could do something to help............all i can say is that we are here whenever you feel you need it.

    Hang on in there honey.

    Love Alex x
  7. strawberrywhip

    strawberrywhip Registered User

    Jun 26, 2006
    Dear Melissa
    We are here for you, a community that understands and shares your grief, hopefully you can take some comfort in that we are with you through this awful time
    thinking of you
  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hi Melissa,
    Sorry that you are having to go through this pain and torment. I hope that the suffering is soon over and peace returns. Take Care. Taffy.
  9. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Sussex

    Nobody can answer the last two questions, I stopped asking them and have learned that life is easier for me that way.

    You can help him enormously, simply by still acknowledging him as the person you love......sitting with him, talking to him, holding his hand, thanking him for what he has done for you in his life, sharing those happy memories with himagain.....whatever way you know will bring him comfort.

    Somewhere inside the AZ shell is the man you know and love, you have to trust that your words and actions will get through.

    I hope today will be a better one for you.

  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Melissa,

    Dear Melissa, I`m so sorry you are in such pain. You are sharing the pain with someone you love, and that`s the only way you can help.

    You are in pain because of this condition called Alzheimers. Those of us on TP know this pain and know what you are having to suffer. It is the most cruel of illnesses. We don`t want to lose them and yet we want the suffering to be over.

    We can only help by being there.

    Take care

    Love xx
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Melissa, I'm so glad you have finally decided to post, there are so many on TP who have experienced your pain and grief, and those of us who haven't know that we have it to come. The TV programme, and all the media hype surrounding it, must have made it even harder for you.

    I have so much sympathy for you, and I know that when we get to that stage I also will want it to be over. Once there is no quality of life left, it seems cruel to prolong the agony.

    I know not everyone agrees with this, but John and I have had such wonderful times together, I couldn't bear to watch him suffer.

    Please stay with us. We can't do anything to ease your pain, but we do understand. I hope you and your husband will soon find peace.

    Love and hugs,
  12. MelissaParker

    MelissaParker Registered User

    Aug 11, 2007
    Thankyou so much all of you for your kind words of support and for being there for us. I am feeling stronger today.
    It's hard talking to other family members about the pain I am going through as I fear it will add to theirs.
    I will keep in touch, just knowing there are other people out there who understand and are willing to offer a kind word means so much!

  13. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Sussex
    Hello Melissa

    I am glad you are feeling a little better today, this is what the site is all about, pouring out your feelings helps get through the dark days.

    I bet others in your family feel the same as you do too, support each other and take one step at a time.

    Post as often as you need to.

    Best Wishes to you.


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