1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Hoping this is a blip...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by mandyp, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. mandyp

    mandyp Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    150
    Glasgow
    Hi and Happy New Year to you all.

    I've not posted for a while, so an update on Mum's progress (or decline really).

    At the moment she is loaded with the cold and is now on antibiotics (Dad struggled to get an appointment over the holiday).

    Christmas at my Aunts was quite sad as Mum really didn't seem to know where she was. Speech wise, there is very little since she got this cold (actually it's more a chest infection). She coughs loads but doesn't seem to realise she should cough 'it' up. Dad is getting continual 'mmhmm, mmhmm' all the time (even when she's asleep). Also the word 'too' (or 2 or to...who knows!) She points at things and just repeadedly says too, too, mmhmm, mmhmm.

    Anyway, I'll get to the point, this drastic decline has only happened in the last 3 weeks. I'm hoping that once the antibiotics kick in, maybe we'll get a little more out of her and she will be a little more aware. I wondered what people thought, or am I clinging to a false hope?

    I'm trying to prepare myself, but trying to be a wee bit positive in the hope that this isn't us about to hit a really nasty bit (which I know will come, but would rather it was later than sooner).

    Oh, forgot to mention, she's not eating either, Dad is having to try to feed her in order to get her to take a little soup/sandwich. Even choccies are out of the question (and Mum, like most other women does have a chocolate vice!!)

    I've treated Christmas/New Year as pretty much regular days as I don't want 'the time of year' affect how I'm feeling as to be honest I'm feeling pretty awful about this.

    I don't half feel ridiculous that at 37 years old I could run into the street shouting 'I want my Mum'.

    On a funnier note, poor Dad, prior to Christmas he'd been trying to get Mum interested in the Christmas cards and gave her them to open. Unfortunately she took to reading the envelopes, ripping the cards in half and putting them in the bin. Poor Dad was in the middle of writing his cards when I phoned and he took the call in the other room.....yep, you've guessed it, Mum sat and happily opened all his freshly written cards, ripped the cards in half, binned them and kept a nice neat pile of envelopes for him.....sometimes if we didn't laugh, the tears would never stop!!

    Mandy
    xx
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Mandy,
    You have done what you thought was best for Christmas & New Year for you Mum. Quite a lot of people find it too much with A.D./Dementia. In their world where they do not realised days, seasons, months, it is just another day.
    Of course you want your Mum, this terrible illness takes so much away from them and also us.
    You would not be human if you did not want your Mum. Mums and Dads are suppose to be there forever for us and for Grandchildren. When they have this herrendous illness and they are unable to show feelings of love etc., it makes life really hard.
    Although my husband is in the last stage and I want my soul mate back.
    I send you big hugs and love from Christine
     
  3. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hello Mandy and Happy New Year, to you also. I think that it is quite possible that you may find after the antibiotics kick in that your mum will improve. I certainly hope so anyway. It seems that sickness with dementia sufferers hits harder and there is a noticeable decline but many do bounce back.

    This did make me smile and your right we do need to see the funny side of things at times. Take Care Taffy.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,730
    Kent
    Hello Mandy, Happy New Year.

    From what I`ve read in other posts, it probably is the infection that`s the explanation for your mother`s apparent deterioration. It`s how she is once the infection clears that`s the worry. She may get back to how she was and she may not. It really is a case of `wait and see` and will be so hard for you.

    I do hope she makes a good recovery.

    Take care xx
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I do hope the antibiotics do the trick and it is only a blip.
    For me the saddest and very worst part of this illness, above even the most horrid of practical issues, is the 'loss' of our spouse, parent, partner or friend. I also could quite easily scream in the street, in the shops, anywhere!

    Take care and best wishes Jan
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Mandy

    Sylvia's right, an infection can have a devastating effect on a dementia sufferer, and if your mum has had it all over the holiday, no wonder she's declined.

    When John was in hospital with his UTI, the consultant told me that some people recover completely from an infection, others recover partially, while for others the damage is pemanent.

    We were unlucky, and John has never recovered, but that's not to say that will happen to your mum. John is at present seriously ill with another infection, while others in his NH have had the infection, spent a couple of days in bed, and been completely back to normal. So cling to your hope, you may be lucky.:)

    I love your story of your mum and the Christmas cards. It's all so logical, in an illogical kind of way.:)

    Love,
     
  7. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Mandy,
    I'm almost 20 years older than you and I still want my Mum! The feeling never goes away and it is SO hard when we see them declining in front of us.

    I'm sure your Dad was not thrilled about the Xmas cards, but it does give us on TP a smile! Thank you.

    Just wanted you to know that I'm wishing you a positive outcome, and feeling much sympathy for you. Take care of yourself.
     
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Mandy,we are the same age but total opposite in the parent style.my mum is driven mad by my dad,when they recieved xmas cards he would write one back,and again and again and again.cost my mum bloody fortune(so she told him!)to send um all.I do understand although its the other way round how you and your dad must feel.theres not always an opportunity in life to be able to sit down and deal with this,it's a hard disease to learn to live with,but if you don't learn you will never live.
    my posts are my own observastions.
    love elainex
     

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