hopes for 2005

[nikita]

as a new year approaches its scary to think what may lie ahead, my hopes for my gran are that she wont have to suffer this disease much longer but thats also scary to face, (shes now 94 ) and all the family feel that shes had enough but she keeps on going. its very difficult to keep relationships going my 16 yr old daughter now is reluctant to visit her where up until a few months ago she went at least once a week. Ill be raising a glass or bottle at midnight to all our loved one and also to the scientisits trying to find cures/preventions to this and all other dreadful diseases. I know two young men with md and it is heartbreaking seeing them now aged 17 and 20 knowing very possibly that for the 20yr old this new year could be his last.
have a good one.

 

[Emma-Rebecca]

And a peaceful new year to you too Nikita. I understand how you are feeling. I also understand how your daughter is feeling, because I went through this for several years. I was torn between the guilt of not going to see Grandma, and the fact that I was physically wracked when I did see her. In the end I chose - with my mother's blessing - not to see her again, once her illness had passed a certain point. She was there physically, but had not been there mentally, emotionally or spiritually for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I did and still do feel guilty about this at times. She passed away in July and I have questionned myself again since then. But I also know that I did the best I could at the time. I have accepted the fact that she would not have wanted me to go and see her merely out of guilt. And it upset my mother and the other patients when I did go because I would get into such a state. Your daughter has possibly already started grieving for her Grandmother. I feel that she will go and see her as and when she feels she wants to.

My Grandma lasted for a long time, she was a tough old bird. I miss her dreadfully, but I now also feel relief, because she is at peace at last. The same will be true for your Grandma when the time is right.

Here's to you and your family Nikita, I will think of you when I raise a glass of brandy and lovage (my Grandma's favourite drink) to us all later tonight.

Love Emma
xx

 

[Sheila]

Best wishes to you both, heres hoping 2005 is an easier year for you than 2004. Love She. XX