I am on the verge of taking the hardest decision of my life! I have given it so much thought over the last few days. I think I am going too arrange for my mother to go into the wonderful NH I have found for her. I did think of taking her there and showing it to her, for her to decide, but the more I think about it the more I realise that she will say no because her only aim in life now is to go back to her flat. She will be at risk in the flat and I cannot be there full time or have carers in full time. What happens when she is on her own, especially at night when she wanders? The final straw was when a GP went to visit her in hospital (her GP is away). His comment to me was 'doesn't seem to have much dementia; why is she here?' I couldn't believe my ears.
I have since been told by a friend, who is a doctor, that when someone with dementia sees someone for the 1st time it acts like a stimulus and they can come across as being very with it etc. That is why it is so hard for the average GP to diagnose.
Anyway, she is now on 50mg quetiapine - 8am & 8pm. I am going to try and arrange for transfer early next week. If she creates a scene - so be it and if she does I will tell her... what? God I feel so inadequate. I am hoping her nephew who she loves dearly will come and help me/her through this traumatic move because traumatic it will be. Even though I am now 99% sure that the decision is right. I have also taken legal advice - just in case. It should be okay. I have EPA and it clearly states that I can act on her behalf if she becomes mentally incapable. My only worry is that the consutant thinks she has mental capacity. Talking to her though, the nurses/me/family can clearly see there is a problem.
Please think of us; I shall probably post again before anything happens.
Does anyone have any advice on making it easier for her?
Thanks
Judy
I have since been told by a friend, who is a doctor, that when someone with dementia sees someone for the 1st time it acts like a stimulus and they can come across as being very with it etc. That is why it is so hard for the average GP to diagnose.
Anyway, she is now on 50mg quetiapine - 8am & 8pm. I am going to try and arrange for transfer early next week. If she creates a scene - so be it and if she does I will tell her... what? God I feel so inadequate. I am hoping her nephew who she loves dearly will come and help me/her through this traumatic move because traumatic it will be. Even though I am now 99% sure that the decision is right. I have also taken legal advice - just in case. It should be okay. I have EPA and it clearly states that I can act on her behalf if she becomes mentally incapable. My only worry is that the consutant thinks she has mental capacity. Talking to her though, the nurses/me/family can clearly see there is a problem.
Please think of us; I shall probably post again before anything happens.
Does anyone have any advice on making it easier for her?
Thanks
Judy
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