Home Visit

[gill@anchorage5]

Good Evening

Dad has been in an assessment centre now for 4 1/2 weeks. He still some days better than others but I think he is making quite good progress on the new meds - certainly during our daily he visits he is generally much more alert & cheerful than he was prior to being admitted.

Mobility is still a major problem (he fractured his ankle and had 8 weeks in plaster.) Unfortunately he had 3 falls in his first 2 days at the assessment centre (the major one requiring stitches to his forehead.) Since then he has not managed as well with walking with his frame as he did before he went in there, even though the plaster cast has been off now for a couple of weeks. He seems to have lost confidence - sometimes does OK, with guidance & support - but sometimes seems to have lost the concept of putting one foot in front of the other.

Ahead of the "D Day" meeting with the Consultant on Tuesday - a "home visit" has been arranged for tomorrow morning - he is coming home for about an hour or so with the physio & the OT - to see how he manages to get about in his own home surroundings. I think that's really positive news (just hope that coming back home for a flying visit will not "unsettle" him too much.)

Mum would be much happier to have him home if he can get upstairs to sleep in his own bedroom - but I'm worried that this is quite a "tall order" for him at the moment. Prior to his admission - we moved the bed downstairs & I slept on a mattress on the floor as he was awake for much of the night. Never been so tired in my life & not sure that I could keep that up "long term". Hopefully the new meds seem to be improving his sleeping patterns considerably - but even with a "baby monitor" fixed up - I would still have concerns with him sleeping downstairs alone.

Mum has several concerns about having a stairlift fitted - not only the "cosmetic" but also the safety angle. Does anyone have any experience of using these with an AZ sufferer?

If his mobility is the only thing deciding whether he returns home or goes to a Nursing Home at this stage - I would like to consider anything possible to get him home.

Keep your fingers crossed for us tomorrow (about 10:30 a.m)

Love

Gill x

 

[Norman]

Hi Gill
When the OT visits she will maybe make an assessment regarding stairlifts.
We did make a request for a stair lift which was turned down,the OT said that there was a danger with an AD sufferer not understang instructions.
Could you not make the downstairs room into a bedroom?
Norman

 

[jenniferpa]

My mother had a stair lift, but she had had it for several years before she had her strokes, so that's different.

I think it was Maggie that said she discovered her mother was terrified of a stair lift when she went to specific respite home: sufficiently upsetting that she hasn't been there since I believe.

We did discuss this briefly in the Tea Room: this thread (2nd page I think) http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/TalkingPoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=6934&page=2&highlight=stair+lift

 

[gill@anchorage5]

Good Morning

Thanks for the responses.

Mum & Dad have a lounge/diner - so no separate room downstairs to make into a permanent bedroom. Yes I believe we could live with having a bed downstairs for him as we did before (we can manage without room for a dining room table if it means getting Dad back home!) but it's Mum's home too and I know that she is not keen for this to be a long-term arrangement, with me sleeping on a mattress on the floor downstairs. Fortunately they have a downstairs loo - so that's one hurdle overcome!

My main concern with this arrangement is that Dad needs to have someone nearby - in case of a problem during the night. Wouldn't be fair to expect Mum to do this (she is 82 & registered blind) but I will be moving back in with them again if we are able to get Dad home, so will be there for them.

If the new meds are meaning that he generally sleeps through the night - it may be feasible for Mum & I to sleep upstairs & use the baby monitor, but we are dealing with so many "unknowns" at the moment & will only really find out how practical it is if and when we give it a try!

Re: stairlifts - having read the relevant posts - I'm honestly not sure that Dad would cope with this, as he is prone to "panic attacks" and sometimes feels he is "falling" even when sitting on a sturdy chair. So the link was very useful - thanks & I will mention these concerns to the OT today if a stairlift is suggested.

I wish Mum & Dad lived in a bungalow....

Thanks again for your support - much appreciated.

Love

Gill x

 

[Skye]

Hi Gill

Hope the visit goes well, thinking of you.

Let us know how it goes.

Love,

 

[Margarita]

I lived in a flat 3 bedrooms , one fount room which I put a single bed in fount room for mum to sleep in mum did not mind , because it meant she was not alone in a room , she like all the coming going with my teenager's

She been use to sharing a room with my father for 55 years , when he died she found it hard to sleep alone in a double bed with out him , even when I gave her my room , I sleep in fount room she did not like it also she wanted me to sleep in same room with her , But she got use to sleeping alone in front room with TV on also it was bigger then my room , and she was use to a big room.

So when I moved in to a house with stairs , mum still sleeps in front room as she does not like going upstairs , I was worry that se would not like staying downstairs alone , but she fine so far .


OT said she would get us stair lift , when I want as long as I supervise my mother, as bath room is upstairs and yes like jennifer says .

she discovered her mother was terrified of a stair lift when she went to specific respite home: sufficiently upsetting

She would scream hold on , because she think she going to fall.

Mum can do the stairs OT said I could encourage mum to keep using the stirs as long as possible to keep her leg mussels strong .

But its OK for her say that and I know she right , but every morning mum saying I'm not going upstairs, she Just wants wash down in toilet downstairs . So what I have to do is not tell her anything & say Come on , she follow me and I take her up , reassuring her all the way up .

I tell you its hard Carer coming in to wash mum at 7 30 am every morning me half sleep , having to get that bath chair in bath and getting mum upstairs as she won't let carer guild her upstairs, or put her on bath chair , she Just let her wash .

So we bath mum 2 time a week other wise its Just a wash down .

I am wondering when you say

Mum & Dad have a lounge/diner - so no separate room downstairs to make into a permanent bedroom.

Dinner room could be converted into a bed room , Just for a double bed that your mother father could sleep in , asking OT for help in making a partition , Or Just leave it like that .

I say for your mother and father , because may be if anything like my mother your father may not get use to sleeping alone in a room on his own without your mother and try to clime the stirs at night to get to they room, forgetting that his meant to sleep alone, Or Just Missing sleeping in same bed as your mother , but if your mother they in same bed he feel safe , then he could also still forget in the middle of the night and wonder up , so your have to put a child gate front of down stirs , stirs Just a thought .

You could sleep in they room.

Its all a big upheaval , but can be done if your mother really wants to keep your father at home

 

[gill@anchorage5]

Dad did well!

Hi

As you may have gathered from previous posts - we were quite worried about the home visit today - but I am pleased to report that Dad did far better than we all expected.

He walked well with his frame around the house - sat in his favourite armchair (which has looked so empty without him in it!) seemed totally relaxed in his own home surroundings (when we had anticipated some confusion) and just acted as though he had never been away. The best news of all is that he astounded both the physio & the OT by managing the stairs - up & down albeit with lots of support & encouragement. Additional handrails are going to be fitted - but the important thing is that he managed it today when he was being "assessed"! His one attempt at trying "practice stairs" at the hospital was a total disaster by all accounts - and several staff had advised us that it was unlikely that he would be able to climb stairs again.

Obviously for the future we need to be prepared for the bad days as well as the good days (mentally & physically) when he can't or won't be able to manage it. But today Dad really "came through" when it mattered and silly though it may sound - I'm so proud of him!

Hopefully this ia all quite positive news ahead of our "D Day meeting" with consultant tomorrow at 11.00

Thanks again to all for your continued support.

Love

Gill x

 

[Skye]

That's really great news, Gill. I can understand how proud you are, I feel the same when John's on form.

Fingers crossed for your meeting tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

Love,

 

[Margarita]

Yes does sound all very positive , am please for your family

 

[gill@anchorage5]

Dad's coming home!

Good Morning

Haven't posted much recently but have been reading the various threads daily. Time has been spent - getting all the necessary "bits & pieces" done at home prior to moving back in with Mum & Dad, visiting Dad every afternoon & doing my best to try to ensure that Mum has some quality time too.

Pleased to advise that Dad is scheduled to come home on Monday morning - after 2 months in the assessment unit (far longer than we originally anticipated!). After a shaky start (when he had 3 falls within his first 48 hours in the unit) - they have now managed to achieve what he went in there for - i.e to "play around" with his medication. He still has good days & bad days, but the good still outweigh the bad & he generally seems a lot calmer than when he went in there. I'm just so pleased that he has stabilised sufficiently for him to return home at the moment and that by taking this decision we are not "closing any doors" for him & keeping all options open.

Mum is understandably starting to feel a bit anxious as the day approaches - fear of the "unknown" to a certain extent. "Mobility" continues to be a worry for us (sometimes Dad walks brilliantly with his frame - but at other times goes into a major panic when he can't or won't move). Will he settle back home - or will he get agitated again wanting to "go home" every day? Will he continue to have settled nights now he's on the new meds - or are we all about to enter another sleep deprivation phase? So many questions going through our minds at the moment!

Our CPN, SW, OT & Physio have been excellent in their support of our decision and we have been provided with several "aids" to help Dad once he's home & hopefully make "home" a much safer place for him.

I know that it's not all going to be "plain sailing" and there will no doubt be a lot of "challenges" ahead many of which we will only discover once he is back in his home surroundings. Oh well - as so many have said on here we'll just take it "one day at a time".

I will be staying with Mum & Dad for as long as I am needed - and therefore will only have internet access when I pop back home. So before I pack up - just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everyone on here for the much needed support during the last couple of difficult months - TP has truly been a lifeline for me during this time.

Wishing all of you and your loved ones all the best - will be thinking of you even though I may not be very active on here in the near future.

Take care & please keep your fingers crossed for us!

Love

Gill x

 

[Grannie G]

Take care & please keep your fingers crossed for us!

I certainly will Gill. You are doing a wonderful thing and deserve all the praise going.

I know you are not doing this for praise or reward, but the support you are giving your parents is priceless.

Please keep in touch as often as possible. We want to know how life continues for you all.

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Pleased you are happy with the support you have received. You must be one wonderful daughter.

I will think about you and definitely keep everything crossed that it goes well. With your very positive attitude I guess that even in the bad moments you will pull everyone through.

Good luck and hope to hear from you again when you have chance. Beckyjan

 

[strawberrywhip]

Very best of luck with it all gill. I know mobility is one of the major deciders that causes admission to nursing homes. I guess you have looked round at alternative solutions ..warden controlled flats on one level...bungalows etc worth a thought if you have any breathing space so that you ma and pa can have a ground floor bedroom and some living space .access to bathroom shower...easier said than done I know and an unheaval... but it might keep them at home longer

 

[Skye]

All the best, Gill. I hope it all goes well for you. Pop in and see us whenever you can.

Love,