Home or care homes

[Mollygoose]

Hi there mother is in sheltered accommodation she has got very short memory and is confused most of the time ! At present she has carers in 3times a day but she says she wants to go in a care home ! Myself and my brother go every day as well ! She is nearly 90 but other than her memory she is fit ! I wonder if anyone has any view about care homes if so please let me know! Thanks

 

[Beate]

If she wants to go into a care home, why not make some enquiries? It's rare enough that people mention this themselves or don't put up resistance. Is she self-funding or not?

 

[Lawson58]

So why not set up a few visits to some care homes and see what she thinks?

It sounds as if she has decided that she doesn't want to be a burden on anyone. Giving her the chance to make a choice sounds the way to go to me.

 

[Kevinl]

Agreed, see if you can take her for a few visits, no need for the guided tour and a look a the rooms just a tea time visit and see if she enjoys it. Smaller independent homes tend to be more flexible about letting you "drop in" for a (pre-arranged) coffee, the group owned ones like to do the big sell.
If (and hopefully she will) likes being around other people and not having to worry about anything she might just blend in, it might be wishful thinking but it's worth a try.
K

 

[garnuft]

I think Beate's question at the end is an important one, because if your Mum isn't self funding it won't be her decision to make, anymore than the people who are self funding but don't want to live in a care home, have a choice.

If she is self funding then why would you not?

 

[Mollygoose]

Care homes

If she wants to go into a care home, why not make some enquiries? It's rare enough that people mention this themselves or don't put up resistance. Is she self-funding or not?

Hi mother will have to rely on the state for her funding .

 

[Saffie]

Hi mother will have to rely on the state for her funding .

Then I'm afraid in that case, as Garnuft has said, it won't be either your mother's or your decision to make but that of the LA via the Social Services department.
It will be based on an assessment of your mother's needs but cost will be a factor of course.