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Home help

dsheffield

Registered User
Jul 25, 2013
1
Guildford, Surrey
Hi, My mum has been diagnosed with Alzheimers for just over a year now, she lives alone and is coping quite well but we have very little family, im an only child and my mum is divorced 20 years or more!! I live about 15 miles away but visit regularly and phone nearly every day. I want to try and introduce some kind of home help, like shopping, tablet taking but she does not want this! she thinks she can do it all herself but I know in time she cant. Any suggestions?
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,514
Near Southampton
Hello dsheffield, I'm afraid that I have no suggestion to help you but I see that you are a new member of TP and am disappointed that you have not received a response to your post since this morning. I hope you will do so if I bump this thread up to the top.
I would like to welcome you to TP and I hope that eventually you will receive some replies which might help you.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,856
69
Dundee
Hi there. I'm afraid I missed your thread today.

A warm welcome from me as well.

Not sure what to suggest. I wonder if it would work if you got someone and the 3 of you did something like the shopping for the first couple of times. After that you could maybe call off at the last minute - too late to cancel the other person. Oh goodness. Such intrigue. I'm sure someone else will come up with a better idea!!!

Keep posting!! x
 

Love&Light

Registered User
Jul 22, 2013
26
Home Help.

It is a real problem getting the person to acknowledge that they need any help, and very sad for you seeing the deterioration in your loved ones skills.

Also finding the right person that they will 'take to' is not easy.

If possible it will be better to introduce any changes in routine very slowly and one step at a time.

Good luck and hope you are able to move things forward.
 

IloveNY

Registered User
Jan 22, 2013
14
Hi, My mum has been diagnosed with Alzheimers for just over a year now, she lives alone and is coping quite well but we have very little family, im an only child and my mum is divorced 20 years or more!! I live about 15 miles away but visit regularly and phone nearly every day. I want to try and introduce some kind of home help, like shopping, tablet taking but she does not want this! she thinks she can do it all herself but I know in time she cant. Any suggestions?
Hi there

Mu mother was EXACTLY the same. Thankfully, for me, she was admitted to hospital and the doctors insisted she have help at home. I know it's difficult but could you fabricate a check -up at her doctors and have them advise the same? My mother needed help for 3-4 years before it was instructed but wouldn't accept hearing this from me. Downside is she still insists there is nothing wrong with her and the doctors and I are all in cahoots.

An important point: apparently it's a recognised sign of dementia (I'm sorry but I'm not sure which ones specifically) that people insist to outsiders that they can manage when it's patently obvious they can't. Reading this - I wish I could recall where - helped me so much in involving outside care for my mother.
 
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stressed-in-oz

Registered User
Jul 25, 2013
11
Sydney
Hi there dsheffield,

I'm actually in exactly the same boat as you - only child, recent Alzheimer's diagnosis, mum living on her own after 20+ years divorced - only difference is I live outside the UK now. But I had the same dilemma when I was back last week. I brought it up with her and she seemed pretty receptive - I chose the local Crossroads, and she came down with me to their offices. They were lovely and really sold the idea to her. She also realised I think that she needed help.

She started with them this week, including their day club which she absolutely loves. I think I might have been quite lucky at her receptiveness, I think it's all about how you 'sell' it to them. Don't make it out to be a care worker, just someone to have a natter with and go for a walk with. She's quite lonely so the idea of someone coming round most days for a cup of tea I think seemed quite appealing.

It also means I have 'eyes and ears' keeping an eye on her from a great distance - it's as much of a comfort for me as it is her.

Hope that helps,

cheers

Alan