1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Does anyone have experience of carers coming into their homes for a few hours, say twice a week, in order to keep the sufferer and carer company and to allow the carer to go out for a short while if they want or need to?

    Mam currently goes to day care twice a week, but unfortunately we're experiencing a few problems with this lately, and I suspect that dad might simply stop taking her.

    I wondered if this might be a viable alternative?
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Got to dash, CG, but yes, this is possible. If your parents are full cost payers they can simply organise it via an agency: or otherwise, 'sitting' or respite at home care may be provided through their carers centre, Crossroads or even possibly through Social Services, as an alternative to day care.

    Hope it works out :) xx
     
  3. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Thanks Lindy - just have to persuade dad, if it comes to it, that this is an option. When I first mentioned it he wan't keen because of the invasion of privacy, but my thoughts are that it would be better than nothing at all, if he decided to pull her out of the care home.
     
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,496
    Female
    London
    Age UK do sitting service, funded by the council. In our case we use it to complement the day centre. He gets taken out a few hours at the weekend.
     
  5. stu100

    stu100 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    70
    Birmingham
    My nan goes to day Center Monday to Friday we have a care at 7pm for 30 mins 7 days a week
     
  6. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    We have a carer 3 times a week for an hour each time.
    She takes MIL for a walk & helps her wash.
    Working well so far.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,849
    Suffolk
    OH had three hours, in those days it was free! He and carer went out, had a walk ( which he could do then) coffee and cake, and came home. This made a useful break for me. Over the years he also had one day at daycare, rising to three, as he got worse. The three hour respite degenerated into coffee and cake and back home to talk or 'play' chess or something else.
    I can't see how it's an invasion. Lots of people come to the house, from friends to sweeps and gas fitters, window cleaners, gardeners, and so on.
    We both, throughout out lives, were used to cleaners coming to our home, so what's different?

    We are, or were, both pretty sociable.

    In essence, these people help to look after OH, and me, enabling us to cope at home. To me, it's so no-brainer.
    IMHO
     
  8. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    Yes i do

    yes . I have a carer on sunday nigth for me to go and have a pint and a game of snooker. Ask you s/worker to arange for a carer .
     
  9. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    #9 CollegeGirl, Jul 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2015
    Thank you all for your responses, which are very helpful.

    As far as the invasion of privacy is concerned, that might not be the best way to describe what he meant - dad feels that to have someone come into their home and stay for several hours, not really doing much other than providing company for them both, would be difficult for him to cope with.

    I suggested it because he tells me that mam's behaviour is different when there is someone else present. When they are alone in the house she paces and talks constantly, pesters him, follows him so closely that he trips over her when he turns around, won't allow him to sit down and relax, or watch telly (she stands in front of it) and lots of other things that sound relatively trivial but which are very draining when you have to cope with them all day every day.

    However, whenever someone else comes to the house, whether it's me, her CPN, a friend or relative, the consultant, etc, she will often stop pacing and sit down. She will stop talking and calms right down, and a lot of the other problems seem to be suspended temporarily, which gives him a break from the behaviour.

    It may be that he will be able to sort out the care home problems and she will continue to go there twice a week to give him a break, but if he stops taking her I was trying to think of an alternative. Not ideal for him but better than nothing.
     

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