Home again..... a Daisy update...


Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
North West England
Hello TP,

Well husband home, and we are trying to get back some kind of routine / order into our lives.

Things have been 'so-so' over the weekend.
Only a few brief little 'outbursts' .. but still lots of nasty verbal comments.
Still thinks I've been with other men...:eek: ... the very thought....

At times it is though he has not even been away.
Obsessions THE very same... tissues and toilet rolls.... clothes... love/hate relationship with them.....
Trailing and tracking sounds... the same...
Not remembering eating... medication ...... bathing....

CONTINUOUS doubting of me and what I say / have said....

Having to re-learn to use the telephone... mobile handset..... tv remote...
Learn AND REMEMBER where EVERYTHING lives....

Being accused of moving things.. stealing things.... liar... theif... cheat....

It's not HIM who is confused, it's ME....

Decided NOT to sleep with him, so he's in the spare room ...
Sorry, can't sleep with him till the INCONTINENCE is solved.. if it ever will be...
More than just a 'dribble'....
Thing is, now he can't find his way to the bathroom (when he tries to make it),
and he's RIGHT next door.

He forgets (after taking them down), that he is wearing pull-ups..... and these have been around his ankles.... INCREASING his risk of falling +++

A few episodes of anger, but over quickly .. me walking away.
VERY aware of him though.

CPN due in the week... and re-visit from Dirsrict Nurse re incontinence.
Told her he was 'fine' and didn't need anythiing... and No he was not incontinent... but all the same he would like to try the 'new products of hers'.

She told him he was trying a new on-trial product and they NEEDED someone JUST like him to help them out !! :rolleyes:

Sorry to hear that others have been faced with the violence part of dementia.

Thanks you all SO MUCH for your concern.

Take Care,



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Daisy

Glad! you've got your husband home, and the violence is not too bad.

I'm at the same stage re. incontinence with John. This intermediate stage is very hard to deal with, isn't it?

Have you tried a kylie sheet on the bed? I still sleep with John, and I'm rarely aware of 'accidents during the night. Alternatively, what about twin beds?

John also gets up during the night (often!), and I leave the bathroom light on so that he can find it. If I don't, he tends to find the wardrobe!

My biggest problem is during the day. He won't wear pants during the day, and to be honest he doesn't really need. But he hates being reminded to go to the loo, and if I don't remind him it's often too late.

I hope the relative peace continues. Keep us posted.



Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Daisy

You are one very remarkable lady, I really don’t know how you cope, it must be like living on a knife edge and walking on egg shells.

Please Daisy, ensure you stay safe.

Thinking of you.



Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Daisy, you have my utmost admiration.

I am coping with verbal aggression, abuse and mood swings, but no hint of physical abuse or violence, obssessions or incontinence.

It is getting to me even so, and I just can`t imagine how you are living with the challenges before you.

Take care of yourself, and be careful.


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
I've to go to a meeting on Thursday at the hospital. Will see what happens as its a new consultant as been told other one has left. He wasn't incontinant when he went in so i'm hoping he still isn't. I'm not sure if i'm getting him back on Friday will see.


Registered User
Mar 20, 2007
Hi Daisy

You are SOME woman, YOU and OTHERS in similar situations, give us the strength to carry on.
You have my respect and admiration.

Take Care Bye for now
Janetruth x