1. deita2

    deita2 Registered User

    Nov 12, 2014
    24
    Would somebody share with me the experiences of booking a holiday with a partner with dementia.
    How did you get on with going abroad?
    Would it have been better in UK?

    Could you recommend a hotel abroad or in Uk?

    What was the outcome?
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    #2 Izzy, Apr 1, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2015
    I regularly go on holiday with my husband. He has Alzheimers which was diagnosed 13.5 years ago.

    I prefer self catering as this gives freedom in relation to time for getting up, meals etc. it also means you are likely to have a washing machine.

    If I go to a hotel I always ask for a disabled access room with a wet room shower. This makes a massive difference for us.

    I always inform the hotel or property company that my husband has dementia. I think this is most important in the hotel setting. I've found people very understanding and helpful.

    At airports it is essential to have assistance. My husband is happy to sit in a wheelchair and this makes life much easier. Someone escorts us all the way through security etc. Again I inform the airline and cabin staff that he has dementia.

    You must declare dementia on any travel insurance or it will be void. Many companies insure this condition but you pay extra for the medical
    declaration.

    Last year I took a carer with us to Lanzarote. It made the world of difference to me. I now couldn't do abroad without that kind of help. On 25th May we are going to Spain and again taking a carer. I'll send you the link by PM but I'm not endorsing it as we haven't been yet and can't say how it will be!

    I was booking an airport hotel yesterday and got a pleasant surprise! I asked for a disabled access room with a connecting door through to another room. She asked if that was for a carer. When I said it was she said that this room would be free of charge!

    If I think of anything else I'll post again. My main message is to think carefully about what will be manageable and plan well.


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  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Well done, Izzy. How helpful of the hotel. Hope you enjoy your trip when it comes around.
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    Thanks!
     
  5. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,440
    Yorkshire
    It very much depends on how your partner is. My husband has recently entered the middle stage of Alzheimer's (according to his consultant). We go away quite a bit as it is something we both enjoy. We are going to China in a couple of weeks which might be challenging - watch this space! I decided to go with Saga holidays in the hope that they will be more understanding of people with problems. I have also upgraded our flights so that husband can rest better as it s a 10 hour flight.
    Last year we went to Panama (son lives there) and we also spent 5 weeks in our motor home in France as well as lots of shorter breaks both in UK and abroad.
    My husband is physically fit so there are no physical problems. Hope that helps. Message me if I can add anything else.



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  6. tre

    tre Registered User

    Sep 23, 2008
    1,353
    Herts
    We now only go on UK trips and I agree with Izzy that self catering is easier than hotels as you do not have to fit in with their timings. I always find an accessible property with a walk in shower and find it easier to be based in a town where we can go out during the day and come back in the evening and go somewhere to eat out on foot or with me on foot and him in the wheelchair. I have found nothing but helpfulness in the pubs or restaurants. I would not consider going at peak times though as I think this might be more difficult.
    If you want to eat out at lunchtimes some garden centres have good cafes and again are really helpful. We went to one in Devon which had a Sunday Carvery and I was the only able bodied one escorting my dad, aged 87 and cannot carry a tray and my husband with dementia. We went up to be served and without asking the person carving called someone else to help.
    I also find the restaurants that do tapas style little plates are good for my husband as I now have to feed him.
    With hotels I find that those budget hotels that do room only are good. Again the staff are very helpful. The accessible rooms have a wet room type bathroom with a shower with a seat and grab rails around the loo and wider doors.
    Tre
     
  7. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,475
    Radcliffe on Trent
    Do check before you book though! One of the major chains that I was going to book for mum and me had a disabled access bathroom in the hotel I wanted but it was a bath with bath seat not a walk-in shower. No good for my mum at all.
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    Yes I agree. That happened to us recently. I wasn't too bothered as we were only there for 2 nights so just made do. On leaving the girl asked if everything had been alright and i mentioned I was disappointed not the find a shower. She was very apologetic and said I should have told them when we arrived and they would have moved us into one with a wet room/shower. She advised always to request that on booking as most of their hotels have both. This was Premier Inn.
     
  9. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,475
    Radcliffe on Trent
    Mine was too, but this particular hotel didn't have the shower wet rooms.
     
  10. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,746
    Female
    London
    Due to OH's incontinence we can't really go on holiday to normal hotel rooms anymore. The only option for us at the moment are Revitalise Centres which offer breaks for disabled people and their carers. They have three Alzheimer's weeks a year. There are three of them in England and they have nurses plus a laundry service.
     
  11. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm still chancing hotels although we deal with incontinence too. We're like the Beverley Hillbillies once I've packed the car! I take a waterproof mattress cover, kylie sheets and enough Tena flex pads to stock a small nursing home, plus multi pairs of PJs! I wake him at intervals through the night to take him to the loo. I don't sleep well anyway so I'm prepared to do this. We just had 3 nights in a hotel for the TP meet up. We survived with no mishaps. No small feat I can assure you!!!


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  12. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,746
    Female
    London
    I admire you for doing this but it wouldn't be for me - especially as we have no car anymore and I don't fancy taking all this stuff on the train! Plus, how do you wash a Kylie sheet in a hotel room?
     
  13. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    I've never had to because of the times I take him to the toilet. They're an insurance policy. The day that happens it'll be no more hotels.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
     
  14. triumph25

    triumph25 Registered User

    Apr 2, 2012
    90
    Forest of Dean
    I took my partner to New Zealand in 2013, and Spain in 2014.

    New Zealand was a mix of hotels/self catering/ and staying with friends.

    I found the self catering by far the best. It gives you all the freedom of getting up when you want to and doing your own thing.

    But things you heed to be aware of.

    OH got lost in a large hotel in NZ by getting out of the lift on the wrong floor, as they were all identical he had no idea where he was and couldn't remember his room number. I was so lucky because as I was frantically searching for him the lift door opened on the 3rd floor and I saw the back of him disappearing along the corridor. He'd been trying his key in all e doors along and was very annoyed it wouldn't fit!

    So you do need to be extra vigilant keeping an eye on them.

    In Spain he nearly caused a security alert when he left a bag unattended whilst I went to get us coffee, he had forgotten it and simply walked off!

    It was quite difficult trying to explain what had happened when you don't speak another language.

    I got some hospital operation wrist bands with my mobile no and the addresses of where we were staying. I put one on him and told him it was for insurance purposes.

    However, I said after last year that I wouldn't take him abroad again as it is a lot of extra stress for me. Because he is in a different environment and with a different time different routine etc etc, he is much more confused and disorientated, so it doesn't feel to me as though I have had a holiday at all. It was more stressful and more work. Nothing was the same, I.e. His clothes aren't in the right place, the food is different, the time us different, they all speak a foreign language, the signs are different even those for the loos etc. it's all much much more confusing for them.

    Somehow Or another I have got talked into going to Lanzarote this year with some friends, I am hoping that as there will be more of us we will all keep an eye on him, but I'm not really looking forward to it and am getting quite twitchy as it approaches.

    So, what I am saying is you need to be aware that being out if routine and out if his comfort x
    Zone may make him more difficult and may make your job of caring for him even harder.

    Having said that, everyone is different and your hubby may not be as far down the road as my o/h. You won't really know until you try.

    But do let us know what you decide and how you get on.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  15. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    Just had another thought. I take an infra red alarm with me. Bill once disappeared from a hotel room and was returned by hotel staff while I slept. This alarm is placed across the threshold of the door and if the beam is broken the alarm sounds.

    http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/security-beam-barrier-alarm-vh87u

    I also take a radar key for disabled access toilets everywhere we go. Sometimes the motorway service station disabled access toilets are locked and this saves having to track down the key from someone.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&...vptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=t&ref=pd_sl_7isd5mkmfw_b
     
  16. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,736
    North East Lincs
    I know you were in the Little Jo Fan Club but were you also a Girl Guide: 'being prepared?'
     
  17. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,944
    Female
    Dundee
    Ah! My friend and I left the guides before we were asked to leave!:D
     
  18. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello deita2 we have had to give up holidays abroad, Airport very stressful, last year we had only got to boarding, my hubby thought we had just arrived in Tenerife, we had just got on the plane, with a 4hr flight he was so co fused, that was only the begining, everyday of that month was a nightmare, how l survived it l do not know, we had been going there for many yrs, he didn't have a clue to where he was, so no more, l came home feeling worn out. I do hope your trip goes well, it may help to have friends with you
     
  19. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,082
    Brazil
    On early stages my mom had some long international flights. But I wasn't alone with her, I pick 2 mom's granddaughter to help me. They got a free travel and I got some time to enjoy the trip.

    On middle stages all my mom had was day trip. Even a weekend out was too stressful to me. (We used to drive to beach or mountains every weekend)

    As advice:
    Huge insurance
    2 more careers ( so everyone can enjoy and care)
     

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