my mom died 7 months ago. my dad died 18 years ago. i have my husband for the holidays. thats great, but my children are grown and have their own lives. i have no family left, except for them. the 4 of us are close, but i remember all the holidays when i was young and everyone was there. you couldnt get a word in. nobody knew what anyone was saying because they all spoke at once. my dad was the quiet one. he knew it was useless to even try to say anything. nobody heard him anyway. not its so quiet. all these people are gone.its too quiet. i think we all miss our parents on the big holidays and birthdays, etc., but life does go on. my mom taught me to be strong, but somehow i dont feel too stronmg today. maybe ill feel stronger tomorrow. i miss the phones ringing off the hook, i miss everyone yelling what they wanted to eat and what they didnt-it was a madhouse. i miss it all. i took it for granted when i had it. i wish i didnt, but i think we all do. then , all of a sudden its gone.all these great relatives gone.i remember so many things--the spilling of the juice all over everything, the soups nobody wanted to eat because it was too hot., the food nobody liked, --just the fun of being together. this is the 1st year without my mom and its hard.she was some cook in her day. i learned from her., but i could never get the hang of baking --even now. my mom cooked, cleaned up---she never let anyone do anything. she never wanted her children to wait on her. she did it all. i even remember when a whole carton of orange juice was spilled because it was forgotten to be closed properly. it spilled all over my mom.she cleaned everything up and said LETS NOT SPOIL THE HOLIDAY. ITS OK NOW . how i wish it could all come back, but life goes on. i realize those days are gone forever.i guess its getting to me because easter is coming.its so quiet.nobody will spill anything. people wont all be screaming all at once. the phones are quiet. --too quiet.the soups wont be there to complain about. how i wish i appreciated it more. i just took it for granted and thought it would go on forever. i tell my children never to take anything for granted--to appreciate every little thing--even if they think its a small thing because it just doesnt go on forever. 1 day it ends and its quiet like now.