1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Wendy C

    Wendy C Registered User

    Jan 29, 2012
    121
    West Midlands
    Feeling a bit mixed up at the moment. We are going away two weeks today to Snowdonia as our dog who is our baby, is very frightened of fireworks. We have booked a cottage in the middle of nowhere for 9 nights to cover both the weekends. She is very spoilt and to see her stressed over the bonfire nights is awful. My Mom is in a home and is deteriorating quite quickly and my step dad who is 97 rely on my 100%. My step dad won't go and see her the time we are away as he can't get there. I am starting to feel very guilty about leaving them and don't know what to do. I feel like I'm choosing my dog over my Mom. What would you do please? :rolleyes:
     
  2. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    From Snowdonia, could you perhaps drive back midway through your break to see them?
    This would put your mind at rest, so you would feel less troubled about your choice.
    Or is there someone who could check on them on your behalf?

    Firework noise is not a problem where we live, but I do sympathise with everyone, the elderly alone, people with animals, young children etc.
    My stepdaughter gets something for their dog from the vets, to calm him I suppose, but I don't know how effective it is.
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,713
    Female
    London
    She is in a home and therefore safe. Any issues, I am sure they would ring. You have the right to a holiday, and 9 days aren't that long. She might not even realise how long you were away. But if your stepdad is desperate to see her while you are away, have you looked into certain schemes like taxi card or dial-a-ride?
     
  4. fizzbomb

    fizzbomb Registered User

    May 10, 2014
    47
    lancashire
    Please try not to feel guilty. Your mum is safe in the home. You could perhaps phone the home while you are away, just to check in on her progess? that would make you feel a little more settled, knowing you are keeping in touch. I don't get to visit my mam much due to living a long way from her, and guilt is something I battle with constantly. But ultimately I know I am doing my very best for her, and I know she is safe. And she doesn't seem to know whether I have been gone for a day or a week, when I visit. She just accepts that she has a visitor and is happy.
    You do need a break, you need to look after yourself as well as your mum and dad, and you may find that a short break actually recharges your batteries somewhat. Best of luck, and try to relax a little while you are away.
     
  5. Wendy C

    Wendy C Registered User

    Jan 29, 2012
    121
    West Midlands
    Thank you all for your thoughts. I am going to go, I have decided. Snowdonia is not that far away. I think as we all know with this disease, there is no cure so each visit is a bonus and a week of no visits just makes me feel guilty. Mom would not want me to put my life on hold and she would want me to go Decision made!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    Have a lovely time :D
     

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