Hi, shark, I saw your other thread but hadn't posted yet. I'm sorry your mother had such a bad fall and such a long stay in hospital (14 weeks! I can't imagine!). I'm sure that has been very difficult for everyone for a variety of reasons.
You said in your other post that you felt that your mum going into a care facility was you "betraying" your mother. If you care to say more about that, I am sure you will get some sympathetic ears here. Without knowing you or more about the situation I can't address your specific concerns, but I can say that it is not a betrayal of anyone to see that they are properly looked after, whether that's in a facility or their home or your home or wherever.
For whatever it's worth, I am an only child and my father died in 1998. My mother is also an only child and her closest relative is an elderly first cousin with health problems who lives 100 miles away. I always had a difficult relationship with my mother, as she was critical, unpleasant, depressed, needy, et cetera. Dementia has not improved any of this or our relationship, but I've been providing care because there is no one else.
You say you have visited your mum twice a day, every day, for 14 weeks. I hope for your sake that the hospital is not too far away! That does not sound like you have neglected your mum. In fact, I would say that's above and beyond reasonable expectations.
You say that your "problem" is that your husband and children want you to go on holiday with them. When was the last time you took a holiday with your husband and/or kids? I know this might be difficult to hear in the place where you are right now, but most people would not view a holiday as a problem, but rather as something pleasant, or as an opportunity. Your family wants to spend time with you. That's good, right?
Your mother is important, but so is the rest of your family, and SO ARE YOU.
When my mother went to the care facility, because she was so unpleasant towards me, I was advised not to visit at the beginning, and I did not visit her (other than the day she moved in) for several weeks. When I did begin visiting, I had to keep it short and be careful not to be alone with her, as my presence would set her off. She settled much better without me around. I'm not saying that is the case for everyone or the right decision for everyone, but it's something to think about.
Your mother will be well looked after and it's not a betrayal in any way to make sure she has the care she needs and deserves. I doubt there is anything you can do to make her happy-but you can work on yourself. (Not only can I not make my mother happy, nor was I ever able to, but I was never able to please her, make her proud of me, or be interested in me in any way. None of that was my fault. It took me years to understand it was her, and not anything I had/hadn't done, that made things that way. Once I accepted it, my life got a lot better.)
You have the right to your own life and especially to time with your husband and children.
I don't mean to sound harsh or unpleasant in any way, just to present a slightly different perspective. I hope you are able to work through things. I hope you'll please come back and let us know how you get on.