Thankyou all for your kind words. I thought looking after mum was frustrating, trying to get around this Web page is killing me more lol, oh well something to occupied the healthy part of my brain. I have had one week of two on "holiday". I've put mum in respite care. And I'm sure the spite part is to get us back. Mum wants to come home, but she can't till next week. Meanwhile I'm really having a good relax. The first few days were the worst. I felt so guilty for putting mum in a home. But I'm over that now, though deep down I'm still kicking myself. (II have the bruses) I had written up a 50 page list for things to be done around the house in case I got bored. I have done one job, couse it ment water was wetting the floor and I had to keep mopping the floor, I couldn't have that it took time away from watching TV or playing games on the puter. I know my Mum better than anyone else, so why do I let the professionals push me around? Also why can't dementure, which ever it is, be the same in all people? But mum is different, just when I think mum is like her mum, (Grandma also had alzheimer's) mums brain goes and does something totally different, which throws me for a six, and i have to quickly collect myself and refocus. But getting back to the pro's, they TOLL me mum was going into a locked secure unit for one tome when mum was with Aunty she went for a walk to the gate, forgot where she was, didn't recognize where she was so kept on walking, an hour later they found her at the fire station. So on th is she was locked away. The pple in there are worse than her, she only has the nurses to talk to couse on one else can hold a conversation. There are no carpets on the floor couse the others are (they wet the floor) whatever that word is. Why didn't I stand up for her, why didn't I put her somewhere else? Why do I want the pro's not to get annoyed with me? I need a cup of toughen up. Why couldn't I say, no mum is going here and there is a bed for her! ok enough of this self wondering the chooks need feeding and there is no mum to do it.