1. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Everyone
    I am finally going away to Spain tomorrow for a whole week:D
    I am feeling a bit guilty about leaving Mum and Dad, but a carer started coming to-day and that went better than I expected and my daughter and cousin will be around Also they are now going to daycare 3 days a week.
    We have an apartment in Spain, but I haven't been there since February 2005 when I took Mum and Dad with me.
    I am looking forward to the break, but no doubt I will be phoning at least twice a day.
    Catch up with the posts, when I get back
    Alfjess xx
     
  2. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Alfjess

    I have a weeks respite next week and I will definitely not be contacting the NH to see how Mary is doing, if anything is wrong they will contact me. To do anything other and you completely ruin the purpose of such a break. Perhaps I am heartless but at the moment I am so exhausted I really don't care.

    Dick
     
  3. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Alfjess
    go and have a rest,do not telephone if there is any problem they will soon ring you.
    all the best
    Norman
     
  4. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Alfjess,
    Have a wonderful, self-indulgent, relaxing, extravagent, "no thought for tomorrow" holiday!!
    You deserve it!
    Nell
     
  5. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    100
    South-East London, UK
    I am with my husband 90% of the time, although I can still leave him for up to five or six hours on occasion so I do have a social life which gives me regular time out. I have not had a break away (for two nights!) for eighteen months but on Friday I am off to Spain for four nights. Our son will stay overnight with my husband and, during the day, my husband will watch TV and sleep. He doesn't go out by himself any more.

    Like you, Alfjess, I will feel obliged to ring home twice a day because my husband will fret but I will keep my mobile switched off - ("I don't seem able to get a signal in Spain so I'm phoning you from a call box"). Before anyone asks the obvious, my son will have the mobile number of the friend I am going with in case of emergency.

    All I have to remember is to leave the guilt monster firmly at home and enjoy the freedom!

    Bets
     
  6. Carolann

    Carolann Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    59
    Nottinghamshire
    Hi, I mentioned in another thread that my Mum has been in hospital for 10 weeks. She went in for a hip repair op.and the saga started from there MRSA, Water Infections, Dehydration, Low Blood pressure. I visited every day at 2pm, went for a coffee in the hospital restaurant at 4pm and then back to feed ( try to feed) Mum between 5 and 6pm. She is now back in the Care Home but I am not holding any hopes out for any improvement - not their fault but the fault of this horrible illness. I am due to go on holiday for one week on Sunday, I know I desperately need this holiday as I am so tired and also my Dad died in March this year and I'm still getting over that - but I don't really know if I ought to go as I feel guilty leaving her and jetting of to the sun. One minute I'm going and the next I'm cancelling. I do have a brother and sister who visit when they can!! and I have told them if I do go I don't want them ringing me with any problems or bad news until I return and that is so not like me as I usually ring every day. I know that if I do decide to go that I will be waiting for a crisis to happen in the next few days to stop me.
     
  7. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    100
    South-East London, UK
    Hi CarolAnn,

    I see that the guilt monster lives in your house too! By your own account you thoroughly deserve your holiday - a week! - how I envy! Your mother is being looked after in the Care Home and a break will be so good for you and therefore for her. Go on holiday and, like I hope to, do your darndest not to feel guilty. As I keep telling myself, no point in going if you're not going to enjoy it.

    Here's hoping we both come back refreshed and ready to carry on.

    Bets
     
  8. Carolann

    Carolann Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    59
    Nottinghamshire
    Hi Bets,
    I will do my utmost to make sure the guilt monster does not get packed in my suitcase. Mum is taking some settling down in the Care Home after her hospital stay so I think thats why I feel so bad. I have visited today, my stomach all knotted up. She is going through one of her noisy periods at the moment and tends to shout the phrase " Come along then" ! every few minutes and then some of the other residents shout at her and tell her to shut up. I am determined to have a good holiday, normally before I go away I am wondering what the weather will be like - this time I am looking foward to the rest. I hope you have a lovely time and that your husband will be OK - I'm sure he will. We will have to compare notes on our return.
    Keep Smiling,
    Carolann
     
  9. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Everyone
    I had a lovely week in Spain, although spent a couple of days cleaning, as I hadn't been there in so long. The weather was great, met lots of old friends, even attended a couple of birthday parties.
    When my daughter dropped us at the airport, I said "I'll phone you. She said "Don't phone, if we need you, we will phone you" Although I didn't phone home as often as I might have, I just had to phone occassionally and was told everything was fine. When I arrived home, I asked how are things, my Daughter said I am very happy youare back, now I need a break!! She has booked aflight and is going to Spain on Saturday.
    It was an effort to start caring again to-day, but once started it seemed like normal routine
    Carolanne and Betts, I hope you had as good a break as I had
    Alfjess
     
  10. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    100
    South-East London, UK
    Hi Alfjess,

    I had a wonderful time in Spain too, although the four days just flashed by. I left printed "calendars" dotted round the house so that my husband knew where I was and our son could cross off the days till my return. I switched off my mobile, but phoned morning and evening and, guess what, my husband survived without me!

    I don't know how long it will last (I got back on Tuesday afternoon) but, so far, I do feel better for the break.

    Bets

    PS For anyone who's wondering, our son stayed with my husband, I didn't just up and leave him to fend for himself!
     
  11. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Betts
    So glad you enjoyed your holiday and are feeling the benefit. Well done, to your son in looking after his Dad to give you a break. Just like you, I felt the week just went too quickly. On departure from Spain I was wishing it was like in the good old days when I had no obligations and I could spend as long as I wanted there.
    However, Mum and Dad were delighted to see me when I arrived home, although they were a bit anxious, the week I was away, but survived. Now they have forgotten that I've ever been away.
    I must admit, it will make it easier to go away again, knowing they can survive without me
    Alfjess
     

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