Holiday recommendation for mum with Alzheimer’s

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Yorkshirerose, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Yorkshirerose

    Yorkshirerose New member

    Feb 22, 2019
    4
    Hi,

    My mum wants to go on holiday. I’m a single mum with two young children and my last two experiences of taking her away were a nightmare, as I can’t babysit her and look after the kids at the same time.
    Can anyone recommend anywhere that can help/cater for this situation or what do other people do???

    She disappears, gets distressed and will leave the hotel room then gets lost, just sits there in her coat and then gets v v angry at little things because she’s confused.
    She’s insistent the kids and I go away with her somewhere but I don’t know how to cope with her.
    Last year she got stuck in the hotel room as couldn’t understand how to open the door, I went to the toilet in a restaurant to come back and find she’d disappeared with my children in the middle of Edinburgh thinking I’d left and in Greece she was just incredibly rude to people for no reason. She then left the room three times forgetting where she was and we spent the whole time trying to find her.

    I’ve seen specialist places but they charge £800 per person out of season and they don’t exactly seem child friendly.

    Any recommendations appreciated. She wants to go abroad but I don’t think I can cope with doing that again.
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,786
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @Yorkshirerose and welcome to DTP.
    It sounds to me as though it would be a very bad idea to take her away on holiday. She may want to go, but she cant cope with the reality of it. I would be inclined to talk about it and say you will get some brochures, but somehow keep "forgetting" ;);)
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    om @Yorkshirerose I totally agree with canary ... you can't be putting yourself. your children and her through that stress ... your children deserve a holiday with you relaxed

    talk about it, look at brochures and information, plan excursions, look at summerwear .... but keep discovering that the hotel is so popular it's booked up, or is adults only or any excuse to start researching over again

    and quietly have a break with your children ... sounds unkind, but your mum doesn't need to know
     
  4. PJ

    PJ Registered User

    Jan 26, 2017
    341
    Female
    Bristol
    So sorry to hear your situation. I do know a friend of mine takes his wife with dementia on holidays with a company that cater for individuals with dementia & their carers. It is quite expensive but they always have a fab time. Hopefully someone on here will know the name of the company if not I can ask him when I next see him.
     
  5. Yorkshirerose

    Yorkshirerose New member

    Feb 22, 2019
    4
    My dad died a year ago and she’d just left him dying for three weeks and we found him on Christmas Eve when we took the kids home for Xmas. He then died five days after. I realised then that something was massively wrong. My mum was a retired head teacher.
    We lost them both that day.
     
  6. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    786
    Female
    cornwall
    My dad wants to go back to Cyprus on holiday.I said I have no problem with that but he would have to take 2carers plus a wheelchair etc.I told him I wouldn’t be doing it..He hasn’t mentioned it since.
     
  7. rainbowcat

    rainbowcat Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    137
    Female
    Same with my dad - when he says he wants to plan a holiday I remind him he needs to find somewhere for disabled/mobility-lacking people AND he needs to plan to take a carer - he says he doesn't even need a disabled-friendly holiday BECAUSE HE CAN WALK (he can't even weight bear) and DOESN'T need to take a carer cos he's not a baby. I change the subject.
     
  8. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    such a shock and a sad time for you @Yorkshirerose ... my condolences on your loss
    I appreciate what you mean about losing both your dad and your mum then ... you and your children must miss both grandparents in different ways
    no doubt Christmas will be a bitter sweet time for your family

    maybe this is why you've been considering a holiday ...
     

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