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Hiya all


Registered User
Feb 19, 2009
Torquay Devon
Hiya , i have just answered a thread about someone who`s hubby might have AD and the agony they are going through. This made me think about the short time i have been diagnosed and the things that have happened. as i said earlier it sems to have flown past which is a very frightening thought for the future. The last few days have been continuous cloudy days and even though i am able to post its much much harder these days. I used to have a few cloudy days before but not day after day if you know what i mean. i know also my depresoin is a lot worse as i have some very disturbinbg thoughts about my future and thought i would mention it just in case anybody else in my position has the same. They are not very nice and not for publishing but the only way i can put it is its as if everywhere i turn the doors are closed and i just cant get through. i know deep down this is my unnacceptance to believing i have thids disease but i also feel as if i do accept it then it will overtake me and cover me in its dark dark overcoat. i was actually in full flow there and now i`m just at a complete blank!! Sorry, but i hope this helps, best wishes, Norrms and family

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Norms

I don`t know if it helps you to be able to articulate your thoughts and feelings so clearly but it certainly helps me.

The cloudy days are something I know about. Dhiren tells me about the clouds or the fog or the net curtain. He has more of those days after he has done something different, or exerted himself, in the days before. Do you think that might be the cause of your bad days Norms?

I get the feeling you are trying to pack as much as you can into your life, for fear you might not be able to do these things in the future. Do you think if you paced yourself a little it might cause you less stress in the long run.

It`s not for me to advise you Norms, but I do worry about you when you are obviously under so much stress. Perhaps if you tried to relax a little, some of those doors might open for you.

Love xx


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Norrms,

When Peter use to say it was all foggy or he was looking through a net curtain, I use to go into the garden and just give him step by step guide just like taking cuttings.

We would have a tea break, put the water fountain on and Peter would tell me Jamie (Grandson) loves running his hands through the water whilst Peter would be holding him. Little things use to come out in the conversation and I could see Peter relaxing.

When Peter was feeling low, out would come the karoake machine and that would go on for quite a while but when he knew the words of the songs he would be very happy.

Taking it day by day and I know this is very hard but like me in Peter's life, you have a very special lady - Elaine. Peter use to say that made him feel safe.

Take care
God Bless
Christine xx


Registered User
Apr 11, 2009
Hello, Norrms: Your "cloudy days" are, I guess, like Brian's "day-dreams", times when he knows he is getting things wrong but can't sort them out. And, like Sylvia's Dhiren, he usually has them when he is overtired. I too would say, in case it helps, take each day gently, and maybe snatch a catnap (or two - Brian has several) if you are able. Love, Nan XXX


Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
Dear Norrms,

The thing that struck me when reading your message was that someone in your position, grappling with so many life-changing issues, should have access to some sort of counselling service.

It then occurred to me that, in all the posts I've read on TP, there has been virtually nothing written on psychological support for people with dementia (or their carers).

I have heard that GP's are sometimes able to prescribe counselling for things like depression (though there is a real shortage of this in the NHS). Have you thought about asking your GP or CPN about getting some sessions with a counsellor?

You try so hard to put on a brave or upbeat face. Sometimes this can be a good strategy. Sometimes it can actually make things worse as you can feel a bit disconnected from your real feelings and the people around you.

With a counsellor, you could have a safe, non-judgemental space to explore your feelings which might be the kind of support that you need at the moment.

Take care,



Volunteer Moderator
Oct 2, 2007
Hi Norms

I’m sorry to hear about the cloudy days. From the responses to your post so far, it sounds like others have experienced very similar feelings.

I don’t know whether counselling is something you feel you might benefit from or not…but following on from Sandy’s post, we have a factsheet on the subject, which includes the contact details for the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, along with those of other potentially useful support organisations.

Hope you have some sunnier days very soon. :)



Registered User
Feb 19, 2009
Torquay Devon
hello all

Hello all and thank you for your comments. First i must say to Sylvia, you are so right and i do try and fit in everything i can every single day and i think thats because on top of the AD to cope with i also have the heart failure which means i am carrying fluid most of the time on my legs and more seriously on my lungs which constricts my breathing severly at times so is exausting in itself. i have an oxygen mask on every night (3 litres per) for 9 hours a night, not very comfotable but neccesary, then to be struck down with AD was almost too much, but coming on to the point of Support regarding a counsellor thank you for this suggestion. Its something i have discussed with Elaine a couple of times, and now, might actually be a good time to find out more about it. When my cloudy days and restricted breathing times collide its an awful feeling and thats when my doors seem to close and cant be opened. I used to say there is nothing worse than fighting for breath and there`s not much that is, but knowing you have AD is uo there with it. Who knows, maybe one day i could be granted a heart and lung transplant AND be given a tablet to make the AD go away !!LOL we can all dream eh? And why not!!LOL best wishes, Norrms and family xxx


Registered User
Oct 14, 2006
Hi Norrms,

I’m sorry but I’ve only just got round to answering this thread, I can most certainly understand how your been feeling with what you call the cloudy days following on one after the other which isn’t then made any easier for you with your added health issues, as for the disturbing thoughts about your future that’s something that’s also haunts me every day not so much for myself but for my wife Sumi, personally I think the sooner we accept our condition then it can be like a weight off our shoulders, no its not going to make it go away but helps give us a better insight in how to tackle the what I call ‘the foggy days’ to try and prevent it from eclipsing us.

Certainly I would think that counselling could help you with the depression as I know it helped me some years ago after I had a nervous breakdown so please don’t dismiss the idea, maybe we all try to fit to much into our days but is that such a bad thing as it shows we still have the self motivation of fight within us, I think the important thing is to try and remember our new limitations and pace ourselves a bit slower than we previously did, so please hurry up and get yourself back onto TP as we miss your joviality that helps to keep us all motivated.

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