hitting and screaming

[jellymac]

Hi everyone.
Just wondered if anyone could give advice please. My mom has Alzheimer's, it will be 5 years Jan since she was diagnosed, shes in the advanced stage and has to have help with everything, apart from eating and drinking. Over the 5 years now and again we've had moments when shes hit my dad and screamed at him but it seems to be getting a lot more frequent the last couple of months. Last night i was on phone to him and asked how my mom was, next thing my dad starts saying stop hitting me and i could hear my mom screaming things at him. Im only a 10 min drive away so went straight over, she was teary when i got the but had calmed down. Whats the best thing to do? Thank you in advance.

 

[LadyA]

Your dad needs help. Maybe contact your mum's GP, or whoever is overseeing her care, and explain the situation, and that it seems to be escalating? Does your dad have any help in to help him care for your mum?

 

[jellymac]

Thank you for your reply Ladya. He doesnt get any help, he refuses to have any, my mom does go to a day centre twice a week and i have her on a monday but that it all. He only agreed to a day centre about 6 months ago and that was only after a very bad day when i had to stay at theirs the night in case something happened. We've told him before to tell the doctor she sees about these moments but he wont, i think he thinks if he tells people they will know just how bad my mom is now and he doesnt want to admit it. Although i did tell the doctor once and she pretty much said it was my dads fault.

 

[fizzie]

How awful for all of youxx and what a useless GP
He might be afraid that they will say she can't stay at home. Have you any connections still with the memory clinic? The doctors there would be able to prescribe appropriate medication - or even better if you have an Admiral Nurse in your area who could give your Dad some advice/help.
Others will be along soon who have more experience of this xx

 

[jellymac]

Thank you Fizzie. It was actually the doctor at the memory clinic that tried to make out it was my dads fault. She's very good with my mom but i think she's very abrupt with my dad and myself. You are exactly right, he has admitted before that he doesn't want to tell everything cause he doesn't want her taken away from him. I can totally understand, they've been married nearly 49 years we've tried to explain no ones going to take her away, im worried he'll make himself ill.