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Hiding things

LoveYouMum

New member
Oct 13, 2021
9
0
Mum has recently moved in with us. It is so hard to understand why she does certain things, particularly putting things in strange places, as there seems to be no rhyme nor reason. Lots of things end up in her handbag that do not belong to her. But today she has put a used Tena Lady somewhere. I have looked in every drawer, her bag, wardrobe, all our cupboards etc. She swears she wasn't wearing one but I know she was, I have the wrapper that I put put them back in once used before I put them in a nappy sack. She was up and down in the night, hence I overslept and didn't realise she was up and about immediately. So she started to dress before I got to her. I dread to think what the smell will be like if I don't find it soon. Any ideas on how to prevent this in future most welcome.
 

ClaireeW

Registered User
Sep 22, 2021
41
0
@LoveYouMum
ah, the dreaded handbag. So much stuff ends up in there that shouldn't! Presumably a generational thing? My Mum is 86. Handbag always goes up to bed with her. She's an inveterate "tidier", and presumably just uses it to keep everywhere neat. I have very few solutions unfortunately but hope others will have good ideas. My only hint is swap her to as small a handbag as you can. Others have said that the "hiding" often leads to accusations to family members of theft of the hidden items.
 

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
114
0
I don’t have a solution but can only tell you of a similar incident when I couldn’t find my partner’s soiled pull ups. After searching everywhere I looked out the bedroom window and they were lying on the front path! He thrown them out the window! At time you just have to laugh!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
16,748
0
South coast
Oh the dreaded hiding things and the handbag stuffed with inappropriate items - and then the handbag would get hidden too!
Yes, this used to lead to accusations of stealing, which meant that mum used to "put things away safely" so that the thief (usually me) wouldnt find them and then mum forgot she had done so...........

Favourite hidding places for mum were behind things - behind the wardrobe and chests of drawers, down the back of radiators, underneath cushions - or sandwiched between things - between the towels in the airing cupboard, the bed and the mattress, or the books on the bookshelf.

I once took mum for coffee in a nice cafe and at the end she said she would pay (she had no money on her person by this stage), opened fer handbag and a used tenna pad fell out onto the table :eek:o_O😂
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
673
0
Oh, the used pads! I'm sure it made perfect sense to put it at the bottom of the bag with your Christmas presents in it.....
Perhaps we could add this to the diagnositic traits.
 

LoveYouMum

New member
Oct 13, 2021
9
0
I don’t have a solution but can only tell you of a similar incident when I couldn’t find my partner’s soiled pull ups. After searching everywhere I looked out the bedroom window and they were lying on the front path! He thrown them out the window! At time you just have to laugh!
Mum chucks things out of the widow too. I have checked but the where abouts of the pad remain a mystery. Good to know that others have similar issues.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
1,451
0
I am not sure that hiding is the right word for this behaviour. My father is always losing things in the house, but I don't think he intends to conceal them. Isn't it more a case of failing awareness of where things should be put? There is also the issue of inability to find things that are not at all hidden. Sometimes my dad spends ages hunting for something and when I look I find it in 5 minutes. All these behaviours are interrelated and something to do with spatial awareness.
 

silkiest

Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
513
0
Hi @LoveYouMum my mum puts them in the laundry basket which is obviously logical to her, but not good for the washing machine if she gets to that first lol.
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
48
0
Mum has recently moved in with us. It is so hard to understand why she does certain things, particularly putting things in strange places, as there seems to be no rhyme nor reason. Lots of things end up in her handbag that do not belong to her. But today she has put a used Tena Lady somewhere. I have looked in every drawer, her bag, wardrobe, all our cupboards etc. She swears she wasn't wearing one but I know she was, I have the wrapper that I put put them back in once used before I put them in a nappy sack. She was up and down in the night, hence I overslept and didn't realise she was up and about immediately. So she started to dress before I got to her. I dread to think what the smell will be like if I don't find it soon. Any ideas on how to prevent this in future most welcome.
Been there with my wife. She uses kotex pads and i would find them everywhere, under her and my pillow, in handbag, cupboard, fridge and in kitchen drawers. Because she was constantly damp after the toilet, i now accompany her at all times. It can be constant work but put an end to it plus she is now a lot cleaner. She blamed the mysterious woman that lives in one of our bedrooms.
 

Rob_E

Registered User
Feb 1, 2015
209
0
Mum had a thing for teaspoons, they always ended up in her handbag or pockets so when I needed them, they were never there. In the end I bought another set of teaspoons but kept them in a container behind the air frier where they were out of site so she couldn't find them. Another favourite was shoes and other clothing, they turned up in shoping bags, cases, under the pillow. Her reason for doing this? to stop our cats from steeling them!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
5,979
0
Essex
@Grannie G gave valuable advice when I first became a carer and that is to look within the eyesight/range of the PWD. Hence I found items in bookcases, drawers and cupboards.

MaNaAk
 

LoveYouMum

New member
Oct 13, 2021
9
0
I am not sure that hiding is the right word for this behaviour. My father is always losing things in the house, but I don't think he intends to conceal them. Isn't it more a case of failing awareness of where things should be put? There is also the issue of inability to find things that are not at all hidden. Sometimes my dad spends ages hunting for something and when I look I find it in 5 minutes. All these behaviours are interrelated and something to do with spatial awareness.
 

LoveYouMum

New member
Oct 13, 2021
9
0
Thank you, it makes it easier to think of it as you suggested. Also Good to know it is a common issue. I am learning so much through reading posts. Steep learning curve for me which I suspect will never end. Thank you to all who replied.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
75,001
0
Kent
My husband was so anxious about losing things, especially his house keys and his wallet, he put them in safe places which were unfortunately different safe places every day.

Pre dementia he put his keys and wallet on his bedside table but post dementia mustn't have thought they would be safe enough so that is why they were always hidden.
 

RuralTownie

Registered User
Oct 11, 2021
12
0
I've had some success by buying a new bin for the bedroom which looks very bin-like and has a big label saying "rubbish bin" on the lid. Before, when it was just a wastepaper basket, used disposables ended up in places like the laundry basket or hung up in the wardrobe.
A small victory - for now.
But yes, the hiding/losing is hard to deal with. There's rarely any logic to where things turn up. I'm still hoping the vegetable peelers will reappear sometime soon!
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
616
0
Could she have flushed it down the loo - mum tried to do that with one of her thick incontinence pads - you can probably imagine the outcome of that one!
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
673
0
Could she have flushed it down the loo - mum tried to do that with one of her thick incontinence pads - you can probably imagine the outcome of that one!
Yes, we had that. The reason ? She was stuffing the turkey - at 3am - in July!
 

Graybiker

Registered User
Oct 3, 2017
236
0
County Durham
Oh the hiding things, know it well & they can be quite ingenious! Found things inside cushion covers, under the mattress in the middle of a double bed, stuffed inside socks & tights & when in the care home, half a fish supper in her dressing gown pocket!
hope you find the offending item & yes, it’s very, very common
Take care x