Hidden strength

[ktnic]

My mum 91 is very frail struggles to walk even with a frame, has problems with back, leg etc. however during the night she is able to walk without her walker often taking her commode from bedroom to lounge or kitchen, chairs from room to room. She of course has no knowledge of this the following day. In addition to this she has now started going to the loo anywhere in the house and even poo'd on kitchen chair the other night. And just to compound things she has started sitting around in her underwear! She would be mortified ! She has 4 brilliant carers every day and lots of support.........any thoughts?


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[Katrine]

I remember a co-worker telling me about her old mum who lived alone but had family visits 3 times a day. She was locked in to prevent wandering. She was almost blind and as frail as your mum seems to be.
One day my colleague had a call from the police to say they had found her mum wandering along a busy road in her nightie. How had she got out of the house? She had somehow managed to climb on to the side of the bath and post herself head first through the upper fanlight of the bathroom window.

Doesn't your mum have sore muscles from this nocturnal furniture moving? I am so sorry to hear about the poo incident. Do you think she is sleepwalking? It sounds as if she needs supervision at night-time for her own safety. She should be eligible for higher rate Attendance Allowance because of this. Unfortunately that won't provide enough to pay for a night sitter, but it would perhaps give you more choice in how long her evening carer is able to be there to prepare her for bed. She may need assisted toileting after her evening meal.

In your place I would start to look at residential care options. Once the disrobing and inappropriate toileting begins then the person concerned really needs 24/7 care.

 

[ktnic]

Thanks Katrine. I know where your coming from......but.......most times during the day she is ok .....has a routine of people, services that visit her, gets lots of one to one attention! Can watch what she wants on TV etc. likes knowing who's coming when likes to think she can be independent with some things. She too is locked in.....but would certainly not be able to get out!
We and her carers have always promised her we would not put her in a home......carers have said that they will care for her at home for as long as possible.....they don't seem phased by things....they really are wonderful! My concern is that in a care home she won't get the one to one care she gets from familiar people now.....will she just be another dotty resident.......I have
heard of so many people who rapidly deteriorate. Once in a care home.....and you read such dreadful stories. My dad was in a short stay respite care.....he told me they were all mad in there .....they were short staffed.....a much larger space to wander round.....mums flat is small.....had to eat when everyone else ate etc, one TV etc etc. sorry to ramble on...but you know how it gets you


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