hi

[topaz70]

HI all I care for my mum with dementia. she was diagnosed about 6 months a go. I was told she only had it mild t the time but shes going downhill really fast. They are saying it has happened because of my brother dieing unexpectantly 18 months a go. Been a hard time and im not only having to deal with loosing my brother but also I feel im loosing my mum. The last 2 weeks she has been nasty and has also gone walk about and we could not find her. we had to involve the police as the last thing we heard was she wanted to be with her son. Any help on how to deal with all this would be really appreciated.

thanks

 

[Saffie]

Hello Topaz and welcome to TP.

I am so sorry that you have lost your brother and now feel you are losing your mother.
I do wonder if your brother's dying has affected your mother as my mother, who died 30 years ago, only showed symptoms of dementia after she lost her very much loved brother. Mind you, it is likely that the illness was there previously but not sufficiently marked to be that noticable and perhaps that is the same with your mother.
Of course, depression can make everything worse and it would be very understandable to feel depressed in the circumstances especially as she is saying she wants to live with her son.

It's difficult to know what to suggest without knowing more about your circumstances. For instance, do you live with your mother or does she live alone?

Just in case it helps, I am going to add a link to the thread which deals with campassionate communication which may help you when discussing things with your mother.

I'm sure others will be along soon with more suggestions.
In the meantime, I do hope you keep returning here as you will find it a helpful and supportive place to be. Very best wishes.

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired

 

[topaz70]

Hello Topaz and welcome to TP.

I am so sorry that you have lost your brother and now feel you are losing your mother.
I do wonder if your brother's dying has affected your mother as my mother, who died 30 years ago, only showed symptoms of dementia after she lost her very much loved brother. Mind you, it is likely that the illness was there previously but not sufficiently marked to be that noticable and perhaps that is the same with your mother.
Of course, depression can make everything worse and it would be very understandable to feel depressed in the circumstances especially as she is saying she wants to live with her son.

It's difficult to know what to suggest without knowing more about your circumstances. For instance, do you live with your mother or does she live alone?

Just in case it helps, I am going to add a link to the thread which deals with campassionate communication which may help you when discussing things with your mother.

I'm sure others will be along soon with more suggestions.
In the meantime, I do hope you keep returning here as you will find it a helpful and supportive place to be. Very best wishes.

 

[topaz70]

Hello Topaz and welcome to TP.

I am so sorry that you have lost your brother and now feel you are losing your mother.
I do wonder if your brother's dying has affected your mother as my mother, who died 30 years ago, only showed symptoms of dementia after she lost her very much loved brother. Mind you, it is likely that the illness was there previously but not sufficiently marked to be that noticable and perhaps that is the same with your mother.
Of course, depression can make everything worse and it would be very understandable to feel depressed in the circumstances especially as she is saying she wants to live with her son.

It's difficult to know what to suggest without knowing more about your circumstances. For instance, do you live with your mother or does she live alone?

Just in case it helps, I am going to add a link to the thread which deals with campassionate communication which may help you when discussing things with your mother.

I'm sure others will be along soon with more suggestions.
In the meantime, I do hope you keep returning here as you will find it a helpful and supportive place to be. Very best wishes.

Hi mum lives with dad across the road from me. He is also finding things very difficult as he is the one that's mostly on the receiving end of the nastiness. Thank you for the link