• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

hi

KaC

Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
32
surrey
Hi
just wanted to say hi
have been feeling very low and sorry for myself without my dad but have been "visiting" TP and reading other posts

my dad is still in hospital being assesed (for nine months!!!) and I am running out of energy trying to find a home in the councils budget that is well run and able to meet dads needs - three have turned him down or requested higher funding for one to one care - one agreed to offer a place but was awful and i think they just wanted to fill a bed
my dad has been presented to the continuing care panel but was unsuccessful social services are going to represent him ( although the date goes further and further away) in the hope the nhs will fund him - i have found a home who specialises in challenging behaviour but of course it is out of budget
Amy said:
no matter how old we are there are days when the only person that we want is our 'mum'.
this is how i always felt about my dad as I have never been close to my mum -
i was always a daddys girl and miss his company, advice , smile and all the jokes we shared together - there is no one who i had this easy rapport with so much i have to stop myself thinking about him and try not to remember or think of happier times in case the grief swallows me
i know i am luckier than a lot of other tp but the struggle to see my dad in a more comfortable surroundings and easier for me to see him - at the moment it is only once a week - when i explained to his consultant that visiting my dad 45-60 minutes away was very stressful as i am a single mum and work - her advice was to visit less often!!!:mad:

sorry this is such a gloomy post - feeling very gloomy

love Karenx
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
hi Karen, also answered on other thread. I can relate to feeling closer to dad than mum. I'm afraid really I hated my mother ...... with good reason (don't go there!). And I can relate to the problems of having to travel a distance to visit, and balance that against home life and work. Maybe it's inevitable that we're in no-win situation.
Maybe you just need to join in our Saturday night wine/beer chill out.

hugs

Áine
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
62
Sheffield
Hi Karen
i was closer to my dad too and to be honest I feel very lucky to have not lost him to AD(he was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 3 years ago which spread to his bones, he fell over in the town 31/01/05 and broke his arm,had it operated on,suffered a stroke on the day he was due to come home,had a heart attack a week later)....but he remained my dad,if you understand what I mean and we just grew closer and closer.....
For you it's a terrible situation to see your dad like this.....
I do love my mum but because I wasn't as close to her I feel more able to cope in caring for her....I find it a bit easier to distance myself a little.....don't know how I'd have coped if it was dad in this situation.....
Love
Wendy
 

KaC

Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
32
surrey
thankyou so much for all your kind messages
feeling brighter today
thinking of you
love karenx
(had to write short message as being hassled for the computer as usual - msn!!- teenage son!!)
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
(had to write short message as being hassled for the computer as usual - msn!!- teenage son!!)
LOL know the feeling that why I am on Late , but with me its Daughters

pleased to read that your feeling brighter :)
 

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