1. tehya

    tehya Registered User

    Jan 1, 2006
    3
    Kent
    Hi all, I just had an email thanking me for joining so I thought it polite to introduce myself. I'd just had a really bad day,(my mum who lives with us has vascular dementia). Sulks, incontinance, constantly changing shoes clothes etc., self-pity (mum AND me ... the self-pity bit !).I thought I'd look up dementia and found your site. After reading lots of it I realised that so many were so much worse off than we are.What a selfish person I am becoming! This site is so helpful, positive and informative and reaches so many people. It's great to know there are people who understand. Most of you seem so placid and patient. I'm striving to attain these qualities constantly. Thank-you all for being there.
     
  2. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Ha, don't judge a book by its cover, my friend! But a big Welcome to you anyway.

    You know the old thing about swans appearing to float about, looking serene, effortlessly? (whilst really they are paddling away like billy-oh under the water, out of sight) ...
    There's a hell of a lot of private paddling going on believe me, but this Talking Point does provide a meeting place where people 'isolated' by caring for an AD sufferer can get together, swap ideas and share problems, even post jokes to try and lighten the load for a minute or two.
    If you go to the Tea Room section, you'll even find wedding photos of Nat (from Australia) under the thread entitled Pics.

    But you are so right about people being patient. Many of them have learned that patience the hardest way of all from long-term caring for their loved ones (Mums, Dads, Wives & Husbands) who have the various forms of dementia. But just because you read of someone who seems "worse off" than you and your family, there is no reason to consider yourself selfish. Don't fall into the trap of the guilt monster. You are doing your best for your Mum, don't knock it!

    Best wishes
     
  3. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hello tehya, and echoing Lynne's words - WELCOME.

    I am glad you have found us, and no, we are not all placid, but here we can be ourselves and let off steam.

    I have just had a dreadful day, but will post my tale of woe at a later time.
    Regards, Connie
     
  4. tehya

    tehya Registered User

    Jan 1, 2006
    3
    Kent
    thank-you

    :) Thank-you so much Lynne and Connie. I do feel so much better today[moaning must be theraputic]. I can't believe I made such a miserable intro.I'm very lucky in the fact that I have a lot of family support.[ very patient husband,2 of my brothers,1 sister-in-law, my sister, 3 adult kids, 13 grandkids and one great]I'm usually quite laid-back but sometimes it's just an act.I find it very hard when I can't see anything that I recognise in my once very gentle, caring mum.She has a cold and yesterday was one long monologue of moaning. Her sister rang to wish us a Happy New Year and she told her we give her deseases here.We're also keeping her a prisoner without any of the family knowing. [ I can smile now but I was horrified at the time]Thank you for listening.Writing it down puts it in perspective.
     

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