Registered User
Mar 13, 2005

I need some help, and im not too sure if this is the right place to post my thread.

My mother has alzheimer, and the problem that i have my family will not allow me to see her.

I got married several years ago, and my grandmother and siblings did not agree to the marriage, a year later my mother was dignosied with AD.
Since then i have not seen my mother, except several months ago, when she was in hospital. My mother looked weak, and she could no longer talk, inside i was crying, and i could see the pain in my mothers eyes. She would look at me and smile, in my heart i believe she knew how i was.

I need to see my mum, and im totally lost, i've come to the point if i think about it i get depressed. But i also have two children, so i need to be strong for them.

I have tried to go to the house to see my mother but get the door slammed in my face, i have sent presents on mothers day etc, but have no reply. I try and speak to my siblings, but they have told me they want nothing to do with me.

ps mum and dad are divorced, so dad cant help.

if anyone can help me to get closer to my mum i would really appreciate it.

ever option i have tried, i get a dead end.

im really sorry for going on, but thankyou for reading my thread


Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
Toronto, Canada
I am so sorry to read of the troubles you are having. Does your grandmother attend a church? Would it be possible to speak to the minister if she does? Sometimes an impartial person, particularly one well-respected, can help in a situation like this.

My thoughts are with you.

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
Hi Jazz

Glad Joanne has answered you...I haven't any advice to offer I am afraid but wanted you to know someone had read your post. Welcome to TP.

Hope you can find a solution.

Linda x


Registered User
Feb 13, 2008
Hi Jazz

Welcome to TP but sorry to hear about your situation.

Is there always someone in the house with your mum? Does your mum have any neighbours or friends who many be able to contact your mum for you even if its just to let her know you are there for her?

Sorry, but I can't be of much help.

Love Andrea


Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
East Midlands
Dear Jazz,

What an awful dilemma to be in...
I can think of nothing that hasn't already been mentioned..

Unless there is some way you can talk to your siblings and reconcile your differences..if they won't talk to you maybe you could write down your concerns and post them to one who may be sympathetic...and listen to you..

Life is so unfair...I do feel for you...

We're here for you...let us know how you get on..maybe others will have more helpful ideas...

Love gigi xx


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Jazz,
Welcome to Talking Point.
I am so sorry you have been treated like this.
My Mother disowned me 17 years ago because I divorced my ex for mental cruelty. (Although my Mother never liked him).
Sadly my Mother passed away at Easter and she was one stubborn lady.
I understand where you are coming from because my younger sister had my Mother's funeral arranged and several members of the family like me did not know.
The is something that I had thought of in your situation and it is to write everything down and send it to your Mother's Doctor.
At least on her file, the Doctor will know she has a daughter.
I wish you all the best


Registered User
Sep 29, 2007
dear Jazz, cotact the citizens advice bureau. Whoever is acting as your mum's care giving should be able to provide reasons as to why it would be detrimental to allow you to see her.
I would also seek the advice of a solicitor (the first session is usually free).
Good luck!:)


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Jazz

I'm so sorry you're in that awful situation. I can understand how much you want to see your mum again.

Is there no possibility of making your peace with your siblings? As I see it, that's your best chance of getting to see your mum. Could you perhaps write to them and explain how upset you are, and how much you want to sort things out? Perhaps invite them to your house for a drink and a chat?

But you're going to have to stay calm, and not get into accusations, or it won't work. Do you think you could do that? For your mum's sake as well as your own.

Good luck,

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